HOW AUTHORITY WORKS
Now, you are probably wondering why the title is not "How God's Authority Works." Well, that would be a great title, but I purposely chose, "How Authority Works," because they are actually the same thing. You see it's because all authority is God's authority. To say that there is one authority that is of God, and another authority that is not of God is marginalizing God. But, the Bible says that all authority is of God. All authority in heaven and earth belongs to Him
"Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God." (Rom 13:1 NKJV). So, it's clear to me that all authorities that "exist" belong to God. So I don't have to say "God's authority" every time I speak about authority, because all authority belongs to Him. Again, to think otherwise is marginalizing God.
Some translations including the KJV use the word "power" rather than "authority," and that's fine as long as you realize it is talking about rulers rather than energy, because sometimes the word power can mean kinetic energy, like the locomotive has lots of power, but other times when it's used, it means authority. But, it is clear in the context in Romans 13 and the Greek words used there, that we are speaking of authority ("exousia" is used), not power, such as kinetic energy ("dunamis"). However, God does have both. He has all authority, the right to rule, but He also has all the strength to enforce those commands. But, we are speaking in this article concerning His authority and all those He delegates His authority to.
So, how does authority work? Well, again, it's so important that you keep in mind that all authority is of God. "For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God." Yes, this means that God is at the top of all authority. Everyone that is in authority answers to God. But, the world doesn't see it that way. They would say that God's authority might be in the church, or maybe in the home (Christian home), but they don't see it in the world, you know, separation of church and state. Well, that is why I chose the title "How Authority Works," because all authority is of God including world authority. Matter of fact, it is clear that in Romans 13, it is speaking of world authorities that we pay taxes to, and it states that that worldly authority is under God.
(Speaking of the separation of church and state which is in our Bill of Rights, I agree. I'm a strong believer of that separation. "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..." That just means that the US government would not be influenced by certain denominations of that day. This is proven by the historical context of that time when some states wanted to be Baptist controlled states, some Catholic, and some Methodist controlled. Now, we know that would never work, thus I agree with the amendment that would prevent that. I wouldn't want to live in a state that had any denominational control over the state I lived in. But, somehow later this amendment was interpreted as the separation of God and state. Now, that is very different! The purpose of that amendment was not to remove God from our government, but to remove the denominational church influences over any of part of the government. Why would our forefathers want to remove God from our country, but yet have "In God We Trust" on everything. If you read the Bill of Rights, the Constitution, etc., you will see the words God or Creator mentioned many times. They even opened each session of the House and Senate with prayer. This proves that it was never their intent to remove God nor the Bible from the US government, but only the denominational church influences. Nor were they to prohibit the free exercise of any of those denominations. The amendment just assures us that The Church would not be over the US government, such as the Catholic Church was over many countries in Europe. So, clearly the separation of Church and State was their aim, not the separation of God and State. They are not the same thing, although half of the country today wrongly interprets it that way as well as the Supreme Court on many of their rulings. Thus, over time, our country has become more and more atheistic due to the separation of God and state).
THREE ORDERS OF AUTHORITY
As already mentioned, there are three orders, domains, or realms of authority. They are home order, church order, and world order. That's it. If God has all authority, then it is clear that the authority in each order belongs to Him. Each order is lead by an authority that God holds responsible for that order. In home order, God holds the husband, or father, responsible for that authority in the home. In church order, the leaders in that church are responsible to God for the authority they have in that church. And, in world order, the rulers such as government officials, presidents, governors, mayors, policemen, employers, and so on, are responsible to God for the authority they have in world order. Now, I left out teachers here in world order because they are actually an extension of home order, but today have become some kind of hybrid order, home and state, but I see them as an extension of the parents. They even use the term, "in loco parentis," which means "in place of the parents."
1) WORLD ORDER
Authority in world order has to do with our government officials as per Romans 13, which legislate, produce laws, and have them enforced by the police. We are blessed in this country in that if we don't like the laws, then we can vote to replace government officials. Not all countries do that. Now, there will be a great deal of confusion and chaos in a country, state, or local municipality where the laws are not enforced or the people do not submit to them. Again, if they don't like the laws, then change them by voting. Now, not all governments allow voting, but Romans 13 doesn't say anything about democracy or the people choosing their rulers. It just clearly states that we are to submit to worldly authority whether it be government officials, or in Ephesians and Colossians, where it also states that we are to also submit to our employers at the work place.
But, you are probably thinking what do we do if we are told to do the wrong thing by those in authority over us. Do we just rebel and refuse to do it? Well, first of all, we must keep in mind two things. 1) If we rebel against government laws then we are rebelling against God. "Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves" Rom 13:2). That says that those who resists government authority resists God. Why? Because all authority is of God. If the government does not protect the law biding citizens and punish the evil doers, then God will hold those officials accountable. He will punish them and if need be replace the government. It may take awhile, but it will be done.
If we break worldly laws, then God will side with the officials in judgment against us. Try speeding or reckless driving for example. There are laws that govern that. If we break these laws, then we not only "resist the authority" of man, but also the authority of God. Why? 2) because verse 4 says, "For he is God's minister to you for good."
Now, let me be clear that we are to obey all laws of man whether we like it or not. It is not pick and choose time. Even if we think the law is stupid, we still are to obey it. If we think it's wrong, then tough. We are to obey it anyway. To disobey it is not only rebelling against the authority of man, but also the authority of God, because all authority is of God and "For he is God's minister to you for good." Even if he is a bad person? Yes, God uses bad people even for our good. There must be law and order.
But, there is one exception when we are told in Scripture to disobey the laws of man, and that is if they conflict with the clear laws of God given in His Word. But, make sure it is clear in the Bible, for to twist Scripture in order to get out of obeying man's laws will bring God's judgment upon us. "But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God's minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil. Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience' sake." A clear conscience knowing that you are right with God. If you are not obeying our leaders, then you will not be right with God, because they are His ministers to you for good.
How does it work? Well, we are to obey all laws of men unless they conflict with Scripture. God's law supersedes man's laws. Government officials and even employers can make up whatever rules that they want to, and as long as they don't conflict with the Scriptures, then we must obey. If we don't like it, then tough. Vote or get a new job. But, rebelling is not the right answer. Even if they tell us to do something that conflicts with God's direct commands given in Scripture, rebellion is not the right response. We are not to rebel and fight against them, but to take a stand and suffer the consequences.
In Acts 5, we see the apostles going out and preaching in Jesus Name, because that's what He told them to do. However, the officials told them to stop doing that. Now, they didn't have a law saying they couldn't do that, but it didn't matter if they did, because Peter and the other apostles said in verse 29, "We ought to obey God rather than men." Now, they did not protest, carry signs, speak harshly, hire lawyers, and fight against the rulers. They gave their statement, took their stand, and were willing to suffer for Christ sake if necessary, and they did suffer for they were beaten (vs 40) and then let go. So, what did they do? They still obeyed Jesus and went right back out and continued to preach that He is the Christ.
You see, when ruler's commands disagree with God's commands, then we are to obey God rather than men and be willing to suffer for it if necessary. When Peter says, "We ought to obey God rather than men," this of course related specifically to obeying God when the ruler's commands contradict God's commands, but generally speaking, it also includes obeying all non scriptural commands of men as well as long as they don't conflict with God's commands in His Word.
Daniel is another good example of being willing to suffer for God rather than submit to the King's commands that were contrary to God's commands. Daniel was very obedient to the King in all things, but when it came to disobey God's clear commands of eating forbidden food, then do you know what Daniel did? Even though Daniel had purposed in his heart he would not eat the King's food (that was forbidden by God), he did not rebel against the King. Daniel did not respond, "No way! I'm not doing that." No, Daniel offered a different option to the king's servants, the test of ten days of eating "pulse" or vegetables, and it was agreed upon by the king's servants. After the trial period, then they appeared healthier and were allowed to continue to eat according to their diet. But, what do you think would happen if they still were not allowed to be exempt from the king's command. Well, then they would stand their ground and obey God rather than man and suffer the consequences. For example, later when a law was passed to fall down before an image, and Daniel had no other options to offer, he had to take his stand against the King's new law, but did so in an honorable way, willing to suffer for righteousness. As a result, God delivered Daniel from the lion's den, the King recognized that and exalted Daniel, and fed his accusers to the lions. There are many other good examples, but I think you get the idea.
Speaking of how Daniel was honorable and showed respect to the King even though he had to resisted his commands, we need to likewise be careful how we speak and treat government officials. So many people, even those who claim to be Christians are sometimes disrespectful of our leaders. The Bible says, "Likewise also these filthy dreamers defile the flesh, despise dominion (government), and speak evil of dignities (rulers). 9 Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee" (Jude 1:8). Not even Michael, an archangel, would rail or make accusation against Satan, who was also a high ranking angel, although a fallen one. But, God allowed Satan to have limited authority over the earth, thus he become the prince and power of the air (Eph 2:2, 6:12).
When Paul stood before corrupt rulers in his day, he addressed them as "noble Felix" and "noble Festus," for example, showing them respect, not so much to the persons, but to their positions. They may have not be worth a plugged nickel, but their position is to be respected as the Scripture commands, for it is a God given position.
Furthermore, when Paul stood before the high priest, Ananias, he smarted off to him "thou whited wall: for sittest thou to judge me after the law, and commandest me to be smitten contrary to the law?" Then when told he had reviled the high priest, Paul said, "I wist not, brethren, that he was the high priest: for it is written, Thou shalt not speak evil of the ruler of thy people." Now, when Paul realized that he had reviled against a ruler and a position of authority, he admitted he should not have done that. And, we shouldn't do that either. Again, Ananias as a person was no doubt evil, working against the things of Christ, but the position he held was a God given position of authority in Israel. We don't have to respect the man, but we must respect the position, and our words and actions must display that.
It's the same with employers who also have authority concerning world order. I must obey the boss concerning the job no matter how much I may disagree. If I can't handle it, then I need to look for another job. If I don't like being told what to do, then seek self employment. Be my own boss. But rebelling is never the right answer. We only have the option to disobey if it is clearly spelled out in Scripture that it is contrary to God's commands. If told by the boss that you must lie about a product, then state why you can't do that and be willing to suffer discipline, demotion, or whatever. If you can't handle that, then again, work somewhere else.
"Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ" (Eph 6:5). We don't obey employers in all things, but are to obey in all things according to the flesh or according to the job. They don't have jurisdiction over our home or anything outside of the work place. We obey them in all things concerning the work place unless it conflicts with Scripture. I believe that's what "according to the flesh" means.
Speaking of how Daniel was honorable and showed respect to the King even though he had to resisted his commands, we need to likewise be careful how we speak and treat government officials. So many people, even those who claim to be Christians are sometimes disrespectful of our leaders. The Bible says, "Likewise also these filthy dreamers defile the flesh, despise dominion (government), and speak evil of dignities (rulers). 9 Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee" (Jude 1:8). Not even Michael, an archangel, would rail or make accusation against Satan, who was also a high ranking angel, although a fallen one. But, God allowed Satan to have limited authority over the earth, thus he become the prince and power of the air (Eph 2:2, 6:12).
When Paul stood before corrupt rulers in his day, he addressed them as "noble Felix" and "noble Festus," for example, showing them respect, not so much to the persons, but to their positions. They may have not be worth a plugged nickel, but their position is to be respected as the Scripture commands, for it is a God given position.
Furthermore, when Paul stood before the high priest, Ananias, he smarted off to him "thou whited wall: for sittest thou to judge me after the law, and commandest me to be smitten contrary to the law?" Then when told he had reviled the high priest, Paul said, "I wist not, brethren, that he was the high priest: for it is written, Thou shalt not speak evil of the ruler of thy people." Now, when Paul realized that he had reviled against a ruler and a position of authority, he admitted he should not have done that. And, we shouldn't do that either. Again, Ananias as a person was no doubt evil, working against the things of Christ, but the position he held was a God given position of authority in Israel. We don't have to respect the man, but we must respect the position, and our words and actions must display that.
It's the same with employers who also have authority concerning world order. I must obey the boss concerning the job no matter how much I may disagree. If I can't handle it, then I need to look for another job. If I don't like being told what to do, then seek self employment. Be my own boss. But rebelling is never the right answer. We only have the option to disobey if it is clearly spelled out in Scripture that it is contrary to God's commands. If told by the boss that you must lie about a product, then state why you can't do that and be willing to suffer discipline, demotion, or whatever. If you can't handle that, then again, work somewhere else.
"Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ" (Eph 6:5). We don't obey employers in all things, but are to obey in all things according to the flesh or according to the job. They don't have jurisdiction over our home or anything outside of the work place. We obey them in all things concerning the work place unless it conflicts with Scripture. I believe that's what "according to the flesh" means.
Also, notice it says that we are to serve our employers "as unto Christ." If we could only see this, then our attitude would be better, making it easier to obey them, because actually we are obeying and serving Christ when we submit to our boss, work hard, and try to please them. By the way, I learned a long time ago that it is easier to change my attitude than it is to change jobs. Easier to change my attitude than to change bosses.
Furthermore, in Titus 2:9, it says, "Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again; 10 Not purloining, but shewing all good fidelity; that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things." Now, when it says, "to please them in all things, again, I believe that means all things related to the employment. Then, it tells us "Not answering again" which means that when we don't like something they tell us to do, we are not to argue or talk back to them. Or, we are not to "sass" them as we country folk used to say. We can politely give a different option, or express our concern about the matter as long as we do it in a polite way. They are responsible for the work we do and their job is usually not an easy one dealing with workers that can be stubborn and lazy.
Speaking of lazy, the verse says that we are not to "purloin" which means to steal, which is exactly what we do when we are lazy on the job or by running our mouths when we should be working. We are stealing time. I have seen Christians give the gospel at work when they should be working, and I will tell them to give the gospel during their break, not during times they should be working. This is not "shewing all good fidelity," which means showing faithfulness and loyalty. To who? To the boss? Yes, but also to Christ. "obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, ...... as unto Christ." Work for your boss as if he were Christ. I know it is hard, but it can be done as you pray for strength and the Holy Spirit will help you.
So, are we to obey evil men, evil governments? Yes, in all things, unless it conflicts with God's commands in Scripture. It does not matter if they are good or bad, they are still "ministers" of God to us for good. God uses them to accomplish His purpose and His will for our lives. All their authority comes from God and they will one day be judged by God in how they used it. This goes for our bosses as well as our government leaders.
Pilate was the Roman governor of Judea. He was a pagan and a ruthless man. "Then saith Pilate unto him, Speakest thou not unto me? knowest thou not that I have power (authority) to crucify thee, and have power to release thee? 11 Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no power (authority) at all against me, except it were given thee from above" (John 19:10). It is clear here that Jesus knew that all authority that Pilate had was from God, but also knew that Pilate had no power to do unto Him than what God would allow. What faith! Paul told Timothy, "...... and before Christ Jesus, who before Pontius Pilate witnessed a good confession" (1Tim 6:13).
What a Savior! What an example for us. He who was equal with God became a servant and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. He put Himself under the Law and obeyed the Law completely, never breaking one of them. Furthermore, He obeyed all of men's laws and regulations that did not conflict with God's laws. He paid his taxes to Caesar (Mat. 22:21). But, when put to the test, no matter what the cost, He took His stand for God and suffered at the hands of evil men. But, His suffering was more than just standing for right, for it was much more, He was suffering for our sins, our disobedience, our rebellion against God that we might be washed and made clean. Jesus became sin, that we might become the righteousness of God. He took all our rebellion upon Himself and gave us all his righteousness. What a trade. We sure got the best out of that deal, and He got the worst...our worst.
The Lord Jesus was the best example of a man that was completely under the obedience of God. He who was equal with God became a servant and learned obedience. "Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;" (Heb 5:8). This means that obedience was something that He had never experienced before becoming man because He was always equal with God. It was a new experience for Him. But, "being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross" (Phil 2:8). Now, when we learn obedience and become obedient to God, it infers that we were disobedient prior to that. But, with the Lord Jesus, when He "became obedient," or "learned obedience," it was different, because He was never disobedient beforehand. But, on the other hand, though He had never been disobedient, He was never obedient beforehand either, because He had always been equal with God. They were always on the same page. So, there was no obedience nor disobedience prior to His coming to Earth. But, when the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us, He humbled Himself and became lower than the angels, (Heb 2:7) becoming not just a man, but a servant, and a servant of God. He "learned obedience." He "became obedient." He submitted Himself to God. And, you know, we can too. We can learn obedience, being first obedient to God and to His Word, then that will help us to learn to be obedient to those in authority over us. "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God" (Eph 5:21).
CHURCH ORDER
There is a second order of God's authority on earth and that is church order. Now, I realize that not everybody goes to church and that most that do may not even be saved. The view of most people today is that the church is not that important and it doesn't really matter how one meets as a church. But, this is not true, for there are many passages in the Scripture concerning how we meet as a local church.
So, who is in authority in the local church? Well, the simple answer is Christ. After all, it is His church. The Bible clearly teaches that the Lord Jesus is the Head of the church. Speaking of headship, we only see it mentioned in two orders, church order and home order. This idea of headship means that the authority stops at the point of the head, the one with final authority. We don't see this idea of headship in world order, for we all are to be under the chain of authority, link by link all the way up to God. But, in church order, the chain of authority stops at Christ, for He is Head of the Church. "And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church" (Eph 1:22). So, this is clear that God has but Christ into a position as being Head of the Church. Jesus has complete and final authority of the church.
We also see the idea of headship in the home where the husband/father has final authority or headship in the home. "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body" (Eph 5:23). I will have more to say about this when we get to Home Order. We just need to see here that there is a difference between being responsible for authority in the chain of authority or being in headship having final authority. And, I only see two headships concerning the three different orders of authority: In the home and in the church. I guess you could say that God has the headship in the world because all authority goes all the way up to Him. So, what does it mean that the Man is the head of the Wife in home order, and Christ the head of the Church? It means they have full authority.
How is Christ the Head of the church? How does He have authority over the church? Well, He does it through the church leaders in each local church. Now, there is a problem because there are different forms of church government. Today, we see some churches are run by a single pastor, some are run by a deacon board, some are run by the congregation, but in the Bible we see that the early churches were governed by older Christian men who were part of that congregation who were known as "elders."
Now, I don't want to get into everything concerning elders in the church other than to address the authority they have in the church. Christ is the Head of the church which includes local churches. He clearly has in His Word how local churches are to meet. The elders are to study and to relay to the others in the church what Christ, the Head wants. The people then should submit to the elders as they submit to Christ, the Head. The elders are not to be "bosses" but helpers and examples. "Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock" (1Pet 5:3). They are to study the Scriptures, and relay to the congregation the commands of Christ, that they might obey the Lord who is the Head. They do not in any means dictate their own personal preferences and desires to the people and expect them to obey them. So, elders do not have the authority like you see some pastors have in churches today who act more like business managers running a business.
When I look at the Bible, the only other men of authority I see in the church were the apostles, but when they died off, that only left elders to care, guide, and direct the believers as to what Christ wants in the church. When the apostles died off, the completed Scriptures then represented the interests of Christ. It is very simple. It's not hard stuff here, but churches today have complicated things by making up unscriptural positions and offices for pastors, priests, and so forth which have hindered the church in being what Christ wants it to be. They will all be judged by the Lord one day and will have to give an answer in how they led their people.
I won't spend anymore time on church leadership for I have many articles that go into detail concerning the local church and it's leadership. If you're interested, then I suggest my articles, "Old Testament Churches," "Why Modern Churches are Carnal," and "The Church Should Be Simple."
However, we are not finished with the chain of command in church order. It's not just Christ over the elders and the elders over the congregation. No, in the church, there is another link in the chain under the elders. The men are in authority over the women in the church. Thus, the chain of authority in the church is Christ, the elders, the men, the women.
Paul writing to the Corinthian church in 1Cor 11:3 says, "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." It is clear here that this authority does not apply to just the husband and wife in the church, because it says that man is the head of the woman. The words husbands and wives are not mentioned in the passage. Some women in the church may not have husbands, either they are unmarried, or their husbands don't attend the church. But, it just states that the men are to lead in the church, not the women.
So, why are the men to lead in the churches, but not the women? And, why are husbands to lead in the home rather than the wife? We will cover the husband/wife issue more in detail when we get to home order? But, both reasons have to do with the order of their creation. Man was to be the leader because he was first in God's creation.
"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve" (1Tim 2:11-13). So, God gives His reason for man being in rank over the woman. He was "first formed," or created, thus she is to be in "subjection" under him and not to usurp authority over him. Now, most people today would be repulsed by that, but it is what God has ordained in our creation.
We also see it in 1 Corinthians 11, were God has given man "headship" over the woman. "For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, for as much as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. 8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. 9 Neither was the man CREATED for the woman; but the woman for the man" (1Cor 11:7-9).
Now, I am not going to get into the topic of head covering here, because we are addressing authority and why God chooses the man to be in authority over the woman. The words "husband" and "wife" are not mentioned in 1Cor 11. It's always the words "man" and "woman" that is mentioned. This line of authority covers all three orders in my opinion, home, church, and world orders, because the basis for each is because of God's order of creation. The man was created first, and the purpose of his creation was different than that of the woman. It is clear that the purpose of her creation was to be a help meet for man (Gen 2:18). That in a sense, man was incomplete without the woman. She was created from man to be a compliment and a help for him.
Notice carefully, the verse says that man was created to be the "image and glory of God," but the woman is "the glory of the man." So, by this contrast, she is not the glory of God, but the glory of man. Notice the verse also leaves out "image" for the woman. Man is the image of God, but notice that the woman is not the image of man. It only says that she is the "glory" of the man. So, what does it mean that man is the "image" of God. It means that man is the representative of God. He is to represent God for sure in the home and in the church. The world does not follow this even though it applies to them as well, and the world has influenced the home and the church especially the past 100 years or so in this break down of authority of the man over the woman. All we have to do is look at the condition of the world today and we can see the damaging results of the world not following God's pattern of creation and the purpose of the man and the woman in God's plan. When men and women get away from God's purpose and pattern for them, then the family will break down which will in turn have an adverse affect upon the church and as time goes by, upon the world. Just look at the problems in the world today and you can see the problems brought about because of the absence of this distinction between women and men.
According to 1Cor 11, in the churches, it does not say that wives are to submit only to their husbands, but that the women are to submit to the men. That's what it says. This is why 1 Corinthians eleven uses the words women and men rather than husbands and wives. The men whether married or single are to lead in "prayer and prophesying" not the women. "Praying" is speaking to God representing the people. "Prophesying" is speaking to the people representing God. Again, the word "image" means to represent. The women are not to be a representative for God nor are they to represent the people to God. Only the man is the "image" or representative of God. The woman is neither the "image" of God, nor is she the "image" of man. She neither represents God nor represents man. This is why when you have a woman pastor, deacon, or teacher, the church is out of order. It is not God's order any longer, but man's order. 1Co 14:40 "Let all things be done decently and in order." In the church, God has an order, so we are to let all things be done according to His order. Otherwise, we are out of order. The judge says, "Order in the court!" That there is a set order in how we are to do things in court. "You sir are out of order" he might say. Well, God has his order in the church and if we do it differently, then we are out of order.
Now, it may appear that the passage in 1Cor 11 is saying that she can pray or prophesy in the church as long as she has a covering, but it does not imply that even though the women were doing so at Corinth. Paul is just saying that what they are doing is wrong, praying and prophesying and doing it uncovered. He is addressing two problems, not one, because he goes on to say in 1Co 14:34, "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. 35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."
Here in chapter 14, we see that if they have questions, then they are to ask their husbands, not in church order, but in home order. As soon as the church meeting is officially over, then the order changes from church order to home order with the husbands/fathers being responsible for their families. She then can ask her husband, what did the elder mean when he said......? Home order doesn't mean the family has to be in their house because the husband/father has that authority where ever the family is. But, during the time they are in church order, then it's Christ, the elders, the men, the women. Thus, the wife is under her husbands authority, but during the time he is in church order, he is under the elder's authority. But, as soon as they walk out those doors, he is no longer under their authority, because God's order changes from church to home.
What about funerals and weddings? Good question. What order is a funeral or a wedding? Well, my opinion is that it depends on who is responsible for what is going on. God wants to have someone responsible, if something goes wrong. So who is it going to be? The wedding or funeral can be held anywhere, at home, at the church building, or even outside, but who is in charge if something goes wrong? The father of the bride or the elders? In my opinion, it usually would be home order for I believe that a funeral and wedding are extensions of the home, not the church, since it has to do with the marriage of their son or daughter, but I would not argue with those who decide differently. If they delegate authority to the elders of the church to be in charge and to be responsible, then fine, I can live with that, but I just don't see Scripture for it. It seems the Bible supports a wedding such as in John 2 as being in a house, for there is a ruler of the feast and servants there. Of course, there were no churches then, but it wasn't being held in the Temple or at a synagogue either. We have just gotten used to weddings and funerals being a part of church functions with the pastor presiding over it, but that's tradition, not Scripture supported.
So, if you are trying to figure out whether if something is home order, church order, or world order, then ask yourself the question, "who is responsible if something goes wrong?" That will help you figure out what order it is and who God is going to hold accountable. Most weddings, the bride's parents are planning and paying for it, even if it's held in a church building, so I would say it is an extension of home order. I would see funerals similar since it has to do with the burial of their family member, so the head of the family should be in authority over the funeral, but they often delegate this to the church leaders.
So, as I see it from Scripture, the authority in the local church is Christ, the elders, the men, the women. That's it. What about the children? Well, as far as church order goes, they aren't mentioned, so I assume they are just to obey their parents (Eph 6:1).
HOME ORDER
Home order in my view is the most important of the three orders because the family was created by God making it His first institution. Government didn't come until after the great flood which began the third dispensation, and the church did not come until after the death and resurrection of Christ which began the sixth dispensation. But, the home was there from the very beginning.
Also, home order has great influence upon church and world order. Churches are made up of families, and the character of the families will determine the character and the practice of the churches. Home order also greatly influences world order. Kids that grow up in unruly homes will one day practice and promote their unruliness in the world. Just look around with what's going on in the world with young people. All the problems we see today is a direct result in the break down of the home and especially the authority in the home. So, what is practiced in the home will greatly influence the condition of churches and in the world such as in schools, the work place, and in society in general. I am not saying that churches and the world don't have influence upon the home. They most certainly do, but in my opinion, what goes on in the home has more effect upon the other two orders. If children are generally raised in the home to be rebellious, then that will have a huge effect upon the other two orders: at their church, at school, their job, in the world.
Remember, in world order, God holds government officials responsible for His authority in this world. In church order, Christ holds the elders accountable, and in home order, He holds the husband responsible for maintaining His authority in the family.
Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,....."
In the world today, there is a complete break down of authority especially in the home. Divorce is around 50% these days, and many more don't even get married. But even homes where the parents are married and stay together, there are still many problems because the authority in the home is not right. Either the wife leads the home or the children get their way or it's some kind of 50-50% split between husband and wife. Fathers are becoming more anemic and not being responsible in their role as leader in the home. By nature it is in the flesh of men to shirk their responsibility in the home. Much easier to just let the wife and children have their way as long as it doesn't interfere with his plans. But, also by nature, it is in the flesh for the wives and children to usurp and have their own way. So, in most homes at best, the husband and wife relationship is a "50-50" leadership in the home. At least, that is what most will admit that they are trying to do. Sounds reasonable and fair, but it is not from the Bible, and it will lead to severe problems in the home. God will never bless a marriage like that.
Now, maybe these 50-50 relationships in the home are set up because of a misunderstanding of Eph. 5:21, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. " You know, you submit to me and I submit to you. The wife submits to the husband and the husband submits to the wife. But, this idea is not here at all in the verse. This is an introductory statement that means generally, we are all to be under authority, finding our link in the chain. In fact, after this verse, God continues to say specifically who is under what authority: wives to husbands, children to parents, servants to masters. He absolutely does not say anywhere for the husband to also submit to the wife, parents to the children, or the boss to the employees. So, that is a wrong interpretation of "submitting yourselves one to another," because God goes ahead and specifically tells them who they are to submit to. It just means that everyone is to be under authority.
So, yes, the wife is to be under the husbands authority as Ephesians says, but that doesn't mean the husband as the head of the house is not under authority also. No, he is to be under the authority of his boss at work, government officials, and so on, but most importantly, he is to be under the authority of Christ. So, everyone is to be "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." Find out what authority the Bible says you are to submit to, then do it.
I won't spend much time here concerning the husband/wife relationship in the home concerning the husband loving his wife, the wife submitting and respecting her husband, and the children obeying their parents, for I am only addressing the line of authority in the home. If interested, you can find more information in my article "THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE: CHRIST AND THE CHURCH."
So, it's clear to me that God expects the husband to be 100% in authority in the home. No 50-50 stuff. Yes, it's serious here, because it is the husband and/or father that will one day give an answer to Christ for the home and family. The wife is not responsible for the home, nor will have to give an answer for the results there. She will only be judged in how she submitted to her husband. If the kids turn out bad, then he answers for that, not her.
Notice carefully what God says in Eph 6:4 "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Now let me ask you who will Christ hold responsible for the outcome of the children? He clearly uses the word "fathers," not parents, not mothers. God made it very clear who He is speaking to. "FATHERS.....bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Of course, the father needs his wife's help in doing this, but he is the one that is responsible and will give an account to Christ. He will, not the wife. She will give an account only in how she submitted and helped her husband. That's it. That's what the Bible says.
Yes, the wife has authority over the children also, but that authority is delegated to her by her husband. So, the Bibles says, "Children, obey your parents." So, the wife is to help bring up the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but again, that duty is delegated to her by her husband, who in turn is responsible to the Lord.
Now, I know this does not sit well with modern day homes, but that is why homes are in such a mess today. If they are doing better than what the Bible says, then why are their children turning out so bad? I believe all the problems in society today are a direct result of the lack of proper authority in the home. Anytime I see a Christian home where they are following God's plan, then there will be happiness, contentment, peace, and unity in the home. Do it any other way, and there will be discord, strife, and fighting.
Notice carefully, the Scripture does not just say the wife is to submit to her husband. It says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your OWN husbands, AS UNTO THE LORD." First, notice that she is to submit to her "own" husband, not someone else's husband. That would include the pastor, physician, or whoever. To the wife, God says obey your own husband. Secondly, it says she should submit to her own husband as unto the Lord." Submit to your husband as you would submit to Christ. That is the chain of authority in the home. Any wife that says she follows Christ, but she is not following her husband in the home, then she is lying. Furthermore, a wife that wants to lead the home and make important decisions for the family is not right with the Lord. She is stepping out of her place. She is usurping authority over her husband. It is perfectly fine for her to give her husband her advice, but she must allow him to make the decisions because, hey, he is the one that will one answer to Christ for it, not her. It is his decision, or should be. Now, I'm not talking about what restaurant they are going to eat at, or what color the curtains should be. Let her make those kind of decisions. I'm talking about important decisions that have an effect upon the family. She can give her advise, but he must make the final decision, for he will one day give an answer for it.
Now, I have heard many wives joke, "well he is the head, but I am the neck," (that turns the head), and laugh about it. She is only expressing the break down of authority in the home. Now, she won't have to give an answer to Christ for the decisions she talked her husband into, or the consequences that they had on the family, but she will give an answer for one thing, and one thing only. How did she submit to her husband.
True submission is not trying to persuade her husband to agree with her and pouting if she doesn't get her way. He finally gives in and does it her way. No, he can listen to her advise, but he should also get advise from others, but most importantly, pray to the Lord and search the Scriptures, then make his decision. Then, the wife, even though she disagrees, then she needs to willingly submit to her husband in the decision he made. After all, that is what submission really means. Submission is not going along with the husband when she agrees with him, but the proof of the pudding is if she will go along willingly with him when she disagrees. That is the test of true submission. The wife is not to be toward her husband like the woman in Luke 18 that kept hounding the judge in the Bible until he finally gave in to her requests.
Of course the wife and husband can work together to decide unimportant matters of the home. But, I am speaking of important decisions that need to be made that have serious consequences. Choosing where you are going to eat out doesn't really fit in here, but choosing what programs your children watch do. Other important decisions would be if the wife works at a certain job, or seeks a career, or where the family will attend church. The wife should be encouraged to give her opinion, but the husband must pray, search the Scripture, and get advice from older godly men.
So, the wife is to submit to her husband, but the husband's responsibility is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He should want what's best for his wife and children. Their loyalty and submission to him is part of what is best for them under his care. If they are at anytime not under that umbrellas of submission, then that is not good for them. It is only going to cause them harm. It opens up opportunities for Satan and his demons to have access to them. So, being under authority is paramount to being safe from Satanic influences. The Bible is full of examples beginning with the first family, Adam and Eve, when Eve took matters in her own hand and made the decision to eat the fruit, and then gave to Adam to eat of it also, and the consequences were catastrophic especially upon their children. So, the husband must be sure that his wife and children are under his authority, under his umbrella of protection for them.
So, God says for the wife to submit to her husband as unto Christ, and that the husband should love her as Christ loved the church. Of course, in the flesh, we cannot do that. This is the reason that just before God gives all these commands of submitting to authority, in the previous verse in Ephesians 5:18 that we are to "be filled with the Spirit." Our only hope in overcoming the weakness of the flesh is to be filled with the Spirit. We must admit to God that in ourselves we cannot do what He commands us to do, but we need His grace to be what He wants us to be. This is humility. And, God gives grace unto the humble. Being in leadership and having authority over others is never a situation that should make us feel superior over others. That's flesh. True leaders should always be humble in their grave duties of leadership. The consequences are so important. We should be humbled by it.
"Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble" (1Pet 5:5).
When the wife senses that her husband loves her and that he is humble, recognizing the seriousness of his decisions to please their Lord, then she will have no problem in submitting to him. It's a given, if she is truly a believer.
Furthermore, I believe the children will be the same way as they see their father making his decisions based upon his desire to please Christ. They will have great respect for him. Ephesians 6:4 says, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." When the father makes decisions that his children believe is selfish on his part, then that will provoked them to anger. It will not be in their best interest. But, when they see him make decisions that he can support from Scripture, then that will help nurture them. So, he will either be provoking or nurturing his children.
Regardless, the wife and children should obey whatever the husband/father says, even if it appears to be selfish on his part. That is the command from God. Obey in all things. Not just the things they like or is favorable to them. But, in all things. "So let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing" (Eph 5:24). And, Col 3:20 says, "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." So, the husband/father is taking a chance when he decides selfishly, for the wife and children are also of flesh. A continual practice of this can only damage the family. He must remember that he is not a lord, but a servant of Christ in leading this home by Scriptural authority. Non Biblical matters can be discussed and agreed upon by the family. God doesn't care what restaurant you eat at, so have some give and take, but when it comes to important matters he must decide, do it carefully, take time to do it, but then stand upon it, and ask them to follow whether they agree or not, because he will give an answer for the decision, not them.
What if she is more qualified to make the decisions?
This is not a question of who is more spiritual, more experienced, or more intelligent to make the decision, the man or the woman. There is no doubt that in many marriages that the woman is smarter and maybe more spiritual than the husband. However, God's chain of authority has to do with whether the person is a male or female. It has nothing to do with education, spirituality, maturity, intellect or experience. God chooses the man to be over the woman. That's it. That's God's order concerning authority in the home. That may not make much sense to us, especially in today's time, but that is God's plan. You tell this to people today and they would say that God is a sexist and a bigot. But, He has His reasons for doing so, most of which I don't understand, but we have to do things the way He says in His Word, especially if we want His blessing and for things to work out for our good. When we don't do it His way, then we suffer the consequences. We must follow His rule book. He designed the family, so let's do it His way. He knows best.
The same thing could have been said in church order. I am very sure that there are many women that could do a better job than their husbands could in church. They may be able to speak better than him or teach better, or lead in prayer better, because they may be closer to God, but that is not the point. It's who meets the qualifications by God? And, she doesn't. It has always been this way. How? It was a direct result of the creation and the consequences of the fall shortly thereafter.
First of all, it was because of the fall of mankind. God told Eve in Genesis 3:16 says, "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." God says the man shall rule over the woman. This rule of man over woman is a result of the consequences of the fall.
Secondly, man was to be head of the woman because of the order of creation. Before the Fall, when God gave the first command, He gave it to Adam, not Eve. Why? Because of the order of creation and the purpose He had for man. As I have already mentioned in church order, the man was to be the representative of God in all 3 orders, world order, church order, and home order. Why? Because of his place and his purpose in creation. Now, if you don't like that, and most people today don't, then take it up with God. He wrote it. But, most people today are offended by it and ignore it. However, I find that godly women, sisters in the Lord are not offended, but willingly practice what the Bible teaches. They are offended if someone tries to get them to speak up in a church meeting, share a testimony, or something like that. They are very uncomfortable doing that because they don't won't to offend Christ nor bring shame on their husbands. Wow! Thank God for godly women.
What if the wife is saved, but the husband isn't?
Again, it doesn't matter. We must do what the Bible says without exception. It just says, "wives obey your husbands." It didn't say obey your husbands if they are believers. No, because God's command is for all men and all women, because all will be judged one day. But, there is a passage that does speak on this issue. So, evidently, the sisters during that time had the same question for the apostles. What do we do if our husband isn't saved?
1Peter 3:1 says, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, (a non believer) they also may without the word be won by the conversation (behavior) of the wives; ...... 7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
So, God says that the believing wife is still to obey her husband even if he is not a believer. I know this is hard, but the Lord will help those sisters who try to follow Him in this. Trust God!
For example, this means that if a non believing husband tells his wife that he doesn't want her to go to church, then she needs to obey him. What? Wait, a minute, the wife is to obey Christ and she must continue to go to church even if the husband objects. No, the verse is clear. Obey the husband and by her "behavior" she might win her husband even without the Word. In other words, he may have passed on hearing the Gospel, but to him, actions speak louder than words. When he sees the obedience and faithfulness in his wife toward him, then that will be a great witness to him of the Christian life. He will see the results of the Gospel in her actions. Now, on the other hand, if he sees her rebelling against his authority, then he will have an excuse to reject the whole thing. In his eyes, his wife going to church may seem to him as competition or threat toward her relationship with him. But, when he sees that that is not the case, that it doesn't interfere with her relationship with him, but the church actually supports her relationship and obedience to him, then he will feel no threat or competition from the church. Not only will he be inclined to let her go since it's no threat to him, he may be inclined to go with her to find out more about the Bible and it's influence on his wife. Listen, he has to be impressed with this or he is a very evil man. Regardless, she needs to obey him and trust God that in time He will work out what's best for her. Now, I know this is true, because 1) the Bible says so, and 2) I have see this very example happen right before my own eyes. A sister that does this can get her husband to come to church being submitted to him, loving him, and honoring him. But, a sister that rebels against her husband and goes to church anyways, she will never see him darken the door of that church, and most likely will ever see him saved.
Also, notice that the verse says, and I believe here it's referring to a believing husband, that he is to "dwell with her according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife." Maybe here it's speaking of a believing husband and an unbelieving wife as before it was speaking of a believing wife and an unbelieving husband. Regardless, it says that they are to work together "that their prayers be not hindered." Regardless of which one is saved, the wife is to submit to her husband, and the husband is to honor her and dwell with her according to God's Word, or their prayers won't get any higher than the ceiling. Husbands and wives, even though they both claim to be Christian and serve in the church, if they fight all the time with the wife not being submissive and the husband not loving and cherishing his wife, then guess what? They might as well not pray at all, because the prayers won't amount to anything.
Because He's a Man and She's a Woman
Well, of course, generally speaking, the woman is weaker than the man physically. This knowledge might be of some use to him in dwelling with her, but I think it is more than just that, because I don't see that as being something that would help all that much in his thinking. And, it says that we are to "honor" her in this knowledge which would apply to more than just knowing that we are physically stronger. But, how are we stronger and she weaker in other ways?
I believe from what other Scripture teaches that the woman is weaker than the man in other areas, not just physically. Generally speaking, the woman is weaker in discernment. "But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ" (2Cor 11:3). Now, notice it was Eve, the woman that was deceived by Satan. The Devil did not go to Adam and try deceiving him, but he went unto the woman. Then, when Eve gave unto Adam to eat of the fruit, he ate of it knowingly. The verse does not say anything about Adam being deceived. When questioned by God, Adam's response was kind of like, "What else could I do, it was this woman that you gave me caused me to eat of it." So, he blamed it on her, and she blamed it on the Devil.
So, the first woman was tricked by the Devil by his lies of her being able to be like God knowing good from evil. I believe Adam, out of his love for Eve, determined that it was either, 1) God would have to destroy her and give him a new help mate, or 2) he would have to step into sin with her and take the consequences. I don't see any other options that he had, so I believe he willingly ate of the fruit.
Furthermore, Paul says that Adam was not tricked by Satan. "For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression" (1Tim 2:13-14). So, it clearly says that Adam was not deceived. That means he took it willingly. Why? Because Eve "being deceived was in the transgression." She had stepped into sin, and Adam willing followed her.
Adam knew what would happen when he ate of the fruit. Adam was very aware of the command that God had specifically given to him, even before Eve was created, and he knew the the consequences if did not obey: "for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die."
So, this tells me that women, generally speaking, can be manipulated by their emotions. I believe that God has made the man and the woman different emotionally. Generally, the man thinks more analytically using reason rather than emotion. Now, sometimes this can get us into trouble when we need to think more from the heart, especially dealing with our children. The woman, who God has made as a help mate for the man, generally, thinks more emotionally from her heart. This is greatly needed in the family or the father could be too harsh with the kinds. So, she completes the man and becomes a necessary asset for him in family matters. However, this asset that the woman brings to the table can, without the man, get her into trouble when she is not as capable to discern matters that require a clear head and putting emotion aside.
Adam told Eve what God had commanded, but when the Devil lied to her, she set aside God's command in order to make a decision based on emotion rather than the facts of God's Word. She was moved by her emotions. "And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat," (Gen 3:6). Now, I firmly believe that Satan did not go to Adam, because he knew that he would not be able to trick Adam, so felt his only hope of deception was to go to the weaker vessel, Eve, and that she in turn would be able to get Adam to eat the forbidden fruit.
We can see that throughout the history of the Bible, that a weak husband and a strong willed woman was a disaster waiting to happen. King Ahab was a sissy of a husband, a weak and denerate man. He was king of Israel, but had married a Zidonian woman, a follower of Baal. When Ahab desired the vineyard, but the owner Naboth would not sell it to him, Ahab stuck his thumb in his mouth and pouted. His wife Jezebel had Naboth killed and gave the vineyard to Ahab. She was also the spiritual leader having placed 500 prophets of Baal in Israel. She systematically replaced God with Baal in the nation of Israel. So, here we have a man acting like a woman, and a woman acting like a man. She was the head, and he was the follower and just a figure head as a king of Israel.
Jesus even used the name of Jezebel as an example in the church of Thyatira when referring to a woman in that church that was teaching, "Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols" (Rev 2:18). Now, I know what she was teaching was wrong, but it's more than just that or why would Jesus refer to this woman teacher as a Jezebel, if she were not also a strong willed woman that wanted the position of a spiritual leader in the church. Jezebel wanted to be a spiritual leader and have authority over men.
But the Scripture is clear that in the church, "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence" (1Tim 2:11,12).
The point is that men need to know that God says, "dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel,...". We need to understand what that means. This will help us to realize that men to "man up" and be the man that God has created him to be, and women need to allow that to happen.
Thus, we need to understand the difference between men and women, that it is more than just physical differences. I believe this is one reason our country is in such a mess. It's in the flesh of men to be lazy, slackers, and to shirk their God given responsibilities, and it's in the flesh of women to jump in and led in areas that belong to the men (Eve). Because of this, there are many women that desire these man made positions of authority and they seek those positions. They have to of course change their behavior and become more like a man to do this. Women acting like and looking like men. This is why I believe there is a break down in our society with the distinctions between men and women which results in homosexuality, transsexuals, and other abnormal behaviors that are becoming more accepted by our culture. But, God does not accept it and will bring judgment upon our nation for allowing it to happen.
Thus, I don't see that men "honor" women by allowing them to serve or fight in the military or to serve in positions of authority over men in the work place or in government. I believe that men dishonor women by allowing them to do such. When I see and hear a woman mayor or governor speak, I wonder what their husband is like? In my view, he dishonors her and she is shaming him.
Now, I am not against women working outside the home. Many need to in order to help support the husband. But, they must be careful. It's one thing to work for others as a subordinate than to be in a position of authority over others, especially over men. I believe a woman can work at a job and still maintain a spirit of being a subordinate, so I don't think it would effect the home no more than a woman that attends a church without her husband as long as she is not in position there as pastor, deacon, or teacher over men. I also believe that a woman's work should be more suitable for her as a woman such as a teacher of children, day care, a nurse, a receptionist, cook, maid, bank teller, and so on. This is far different than her getting a job as a mechanic, construction worker, driving a semi, being a soldier, or being in any kind of authority, especially over men. These are jobs that are usually designed for men. Can a woman do these? Probably yes, but then don't be surprised then when she starts acting like a man.
Now, when you think about it, this blurring and resolving of the roles between the sexes has appeared on the scene in the past 100 years. Before that time, men were men and women were women and it was expected of them to act as such concerning their roles. Down through history, it didn't matter whether Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, or even Atheist countries, they had very clear distinctive roles for men and women. But, not now. Not the past 100 years. During the Roman empire, the father had so much authority in the home that he could either have the wife and children sold or put to death. But, I don't condone that, just saying that at least he had the authority in the home and that extreme didn't happen that often because he did have that power. But, now days, it's just the opposite. It's a 360 degree opposite situation we live in. Men today have no respect and very little authority as a father in the home. One phone call and the kids can be taken away by social services. One signature and the wife can get a divorce and go marry someone else. At best, most homes today are a 50-50 agreement between husband and wife which assures strife in the home.
Marriage at best even when both are Christian and trying to follow Scripture can be a challenge because both are in sinful flesh. But, with "knowledge" of one another's roles and God's help through the Word and through prayer, there can be peace and joy in the home as we submit to our roles. It's not easy, but it can be done. Other ways will result in heartache and misery, and produce all the evils we see today.
By the way, the problems we see in our country I believe to be a result of this rejection of God's given roles for males and females. I have already mentioned homosexuality and other diversions of sexual sin, but I also believe it applies to the racism in our country. How? Because when you look at the black race, for example, you see that there has been a complete break down between the sexes in the home. Fathers are not there. Mothers take the place of the father in the home. Women taking on the role that belongs to a man. Women acting like men. Racism is being blamed as the cause of poverty and crime, but it's actually the result of the breakdown of the responsibilities in the home. When the home is out of order, then there will be poverty, crime, a complete disregard for authority, and rebellion. However, when it's done right, then I don't care what color the people are, as long as both parents are performing their roles, then you will find a home that is in order. This will produce submissive children and there will be peace and success as they become law abiding adults.
What if the husband asks the wife to do something that is wrong?
But, the Scriptures say that she is to obey him in all things, not just obeying in things she believes is right and not obeying in things she believes is wrong. The very idea of submission is obeying even when you don't want to obey. The Bible does not say for the wife to obey her husband in only the things she believes are right. It says for her to obey him in all things. Ephesians 5:24 says, "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands IN EVERY THING." Now, what does "everything" mean?
Furthermore, we can always try to stretch the Scripture and find something that may appear to be wrong with what he is asking her to do. But, what if it is clearly wrong? Say that the husband asks the wife to lie about something. We all know that lying is wrong. Well, Abraham did this twice with Sara asking her on two different occasions to lie to help him out of a jam.
Genesis 12:11 says, "And it came to pass, when he (Abraham) was come near to enter into Egypt, that he said unto Sarai his wife, Behold now, I know that thou art a fair woman to look upon: 12 Therefore it shall come to pass, when the Egyptians shall see thee, that they shall say, This is his wife: and they will kill me, but they will save thee alive. 13 Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister: that it may be well with me for thy sake; and my soul shall live because of thee."
Now, there is no doubt that Sara would not want to go along with such a plot, but she obeyed her husband Abraham. She only had 2 choices, obey him or rebel against him. Now, she could have appealed to him not to ask her to do that. That is fine to let authority know they don't agree, and maybe even offer other options, but we do know she willingly obeyed. It didn't say she disagreed or fought with him over the matter. Now, if she had said "no, I'm not doing that," then it is clear that she breaks the commandment of not obeying her husband's authority. So, not only is he wrong, but now she is wrong too, and two wrongs don't make a right. But, what Sarah is doing are two rights, not one. She is not only obeying her husband, but she is also obeying God. Thus, by faith she is putting herself in the hands of God to take care of her and she winds up as a future example of Godly, holy women.
1Peter 3:5 says, "For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord:" (here the word "lord" with a small "l" refers to one in authority).
Now, I believe that Peter is using Sara as an example of her faithfulness to her husband, and trusting God in doing so, even when asked to do such a questionable thing. Now, this happened twice to her and the foreseeable consequences that lay before her were not pretty. But, she trusted God and God took care of her in both cases speaking to Abimelech and to Pharaoh warning them not to touch her.
Now, as I see it, even if a woman does this, lying for her husband for an example, and God allows the deed to go through, then she is not responsible for the wrong. Her husband is. He is the one asking her to do it, so she won't give an account for it. He will. But, if she refuses her husband, then she immediately commits wrong and will have to give an account for that to God. However, I can't believe that God would allow a woman so deeply devoted to Him, trusting in Him, to not be protected by the Lord. Either the Lord will intervene on her behalf ,or the husband will change his mind and rescue her. In both of these cases, the Lord intervened and rescued Sara, which expressed that Abraham had some growing to do in his faith toward God, that he needed to trust God to protect him before these two kings. So, even though Sara was more faithful than Abraham during these two events, she still submitted to her husband.
Well, what if her husband asks her to do something really really bad, such as to deny Christ? Well, that is a little extreme, but telling her she can't go to church and telling her to deny Christ are two different things. As hard as it is, she can stay home and not go to church, but telling her to deny Christ is something that she probably just can't do. That it would be impossible for her to do it even if she tried. You see, her husband can ask her to jump 10 feet in the air and she can try to do that, but she will fail. But, for such an evil husband to ask his Christian wife to deny Christ, that is also something she probably could not do. She might force those words out of her mouth, but it's impossible for her to do it out of her heart. He is asking her to do something she just can't do. So, he says, flap your arms and fly. Well, she can't do that. Don't ask her to do something she can't do.
So, when wives are asked by husbands to do something they believe is wrong, then they should appeal to him in a Godly manner, and even, offer other options, but if he doesn't listen then they need to follow Sara's example and then trust God, the higher authority to change their husband's mind, or to deliver them from the wrong they are to do. This is Godly submission, and only a woman walking in the Spirit can do this. Women that aren't walking in the Spirit, are not living a life of faith, they cannot do this and they will rebel against their husbands and will excuse themselves in doing so, but God cannot and will not bless that.
Knowing how authority works in our lives is very much related to Faith. When Jesus was approached by the Centurion in Matthew 8:5, to heal His servant, Jesus said the he would go heal him. The Centurion responded that Jesus didn't have to take the time to go to him, but just speak the word and the servant would be healed. The Centurion said in verse 9, "For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me: and I say to this man, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it." Jesus responded that He had not seen such "great faith" in all Israel. So, Jesus made the important connection between understanding authority and having faith. It goes together. This Centurion understood the chain of authority. He knew how to submit to authority and he knew how have those under his authority submit to him.
Listen, you can count on it, that if a person in charge like a supervisor or a manager can't manage people under him very well, then that is a given that he will have problems submitting to those in authority over him. Anybody in the chain of authority that has problems with people under their authority, they will have problems with those who are over them. A man who is not assuming authority over his wife and children, you can count on it, he will not be following the Lord or the Scriptures. This is why that for the qualifications of an elder or deacon in the church that they must be in control of their families. If his wife and children are not submitted to him, then it's a given that he is not submitted to the Lord, so that is a sign that he is unfit and unqualified to be an elder or deacon in the church. In the past whenever I met a church leader, the first thing I did was to look to see how he led his family. If he is leading his family well, then it must be because he is following the Lord well.
The Husband's Responsibilities
Why did I address the wives submission to her husband first, before addressing the Husbands responsibility to his wife? It's interesting God speaks to those under authority first before addressing those in authority. For example, in the Scriptures, God speaks to the children to obey their parents before he speaks to the parents responsibility in how to raise them. He speaks first to the wife to submit to her husband, then tells the husband to love his wife. He first speaks to the employee's submission to his boss before he speaks to the bosses responsibility to treat his employees well. So, I don't think this is just a coincidence. There is a clear pattern here that God puts the emphasis upon those under authority to obey. Then, He tells those in authority how to treat those under their authority.
So, the command to the husbands is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself" (Eph 5:25).
This is a command of God that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church. But, of course this is impossible for a husband to do this unless he is walking in the Spirit, living a life of faith, and trusting the Lord to help him obey His head, Christ, and do what he is responsible to do as a husband and father. So, God gives grace to the humble to do the things they can't do in the flesh. It's the Holy Spirit that strengthens us to do what God has commanded us to do.
This loving our wives as Christ loved the church is of course a sacrificial love. A man should be willing to sacrifice himself for his wife and children, and when a wife senses this in her husband, she will have no problem submitting to him.
The man in the home needs to understand that he has a God given authority and a responsibility in the home for his wife and children. He will answer to God one day for these responsibilities in the home. I really feel sorry for all the homes in this country where there is no father or husband there. So many single parent mothers trying to raise their children. Children growing up without a father. Such a shame. So devastating. Who's to blame? The wife? The children? The government? No, when it all comes down to it, the husband/father will have to give an account for the home, for the wife, and for the children.
In this country, we are in a mess. Just look around and think about it. What in the world is going on with our country? Especially the young people. Well, it's falling apart because families are falling apart, and it's the men that are to blame. Yes! Don't blame it on the women. Don't blame it on the children. Don't blame it on the government or the churches. The men are to be blamed. They are responsible for the home. And it doesn't just end there. Men are also responsible for the sad condition in churches today. We have already seen that the men are to lead in the churches, not the women. And, lastly, it's the men that are responsible for the condition of the government today. Not the women. The men! The women only move in to lead in the home, the church, and in the government and work place only because the men are so weak today. Women can't be what they should be because the men are not being what God has told them to be. Shameful.
Men like to feel "manly" you know, macho, masculine. Lift weights, play sports, and strut around like a peacock. Nothing wrong with lifting weights or playing sports, but that has nothing to do with true manhood. To be manly, you need to be responsible and do your job. Lead the home. Lead the women in the church. Be a great worker at your job, and be a good citizen. But, above all, submit to your authority, Christ! You want your wife and kids to look up to you with great respect? Take a stand for Christ. Stand on His Word. Be strong for He that is over you, and make sure those under you are submitting to you.
Look what God said about Abraham. "For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him" (Gen 18:19).
Sounds pretty good doesn't it? God knew He could count on Abraham to trust and follow Him and submit to Him. Why? Because He knew he would lead those under his authority. God knew there was no 50-50 stuff with Abraham. He knew Abraham would be in charge and would man up.
Abraham submitted to God's authority, obeyed God. Abraham knew how to be a man under authority, but Abraham also knew how to be in authority. He made those under him obey him. God could count on Abraham to exercise authority over his family. Seems as this verse is saying that not only is Abraham trusting by faith in God's leading, but that God also has faith in Abraham. God says he knows that he can count on Abraham, knows that Abraham will exercise authority over his children and his household and they will in turn obey Abraham as he obeys God.
Yes, God is looking for some good men. Strong men. Faithful men. Men that will submit to Him and men that will lead those under his care. When men start looking for better ways of doing things, then God starts looking for better men. Men that will do it His way, because His way is the right way.
Now, I know that you are probably having a hard time with this. Most people do. But, it is clear that God holds all three orders, home, church, and world order for the men in each order to be responsible.
HEADSHIP
It seems that sometimes when the Bible speaks of authority, it speaks of Headship. Well, what is headship and how does it differ from normal authority up and down the chain?
1 Corinthians 11:3 says, "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."
Notice this chain of authority. It speaks of 3 heads. God is the head of Christ. Christ is the head of man. And, the man is the head of the woman. We see why in Ephesians 5:23, it says "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
We see in Ephesians that the husband is head of the wife. Why? Because general speaking, in 1 Corinthians 11, it says that the man is head of the woman. Previously we saw that men were the head of the women in the church, that there would be some men not married and some women not married, thus the usage of "men" and "women" rather than "husbands" and "wives." So, this so far takes care of 2 orders, home and church order. But, I believe the way Paul states in 1Corinthians 11:3, that he doesn't specifically say "in the church," or "in the home," but just makes a general statement, "the head of the woman is the man," then I believe it would also apply to world order. In other words, even though the world does not submit to God's Word or His authority in any way, shape, or form, that does not change the fact that God has put the man as head over the woman, and He intends for it to be in all three orders. Why? Again, it is because of God's order and purpose in Creation.
Let me say that headship and authority have to do with rank, not worth. Man is not better than a woman, but out ranks her. We see this all the time in other areas, such as the military. A captain is not worth more or a better person than a lieutenant. He just out ranks him. Matter of fact, the lieutenant may be a better person and can do the job better than the captain. No doubt there are some sorry unqualified captains in the military, but they all rank the same.
The centurion was a military man and so he understood rank. He realized the spiritual rank and authority that Jesus had, and all he had to do was give the order and it would be done. So, God has chosen men to out rank women in the chain of authority on the earth. Men are not better than women. They just out rank them.
But, then in Ephesians 5:23, it says that "even as Christ is the head of the church." So, in 1 Cor. 11:3, Jesus is the Head of the man, but He is also the Head of the church which includes men and women. Again, I have mentioned the chain of authority in the church in the order of Christ, the elders, the men, the women. But, Christ is the Head of the church. What does it mean when it says the Head of something? Christ the head of the men and head of the church? The man is the head of the woman? The husband the head of the wife? What is headship?
When we speak of headship it means that is the source of the chain where the authority begins and goes down the chain. Now, going up the chain we say the authority ends there, but it is actually the beginning point of the authority in that chain of authority. For example the source of the river is where the river begins and flows down to the mouth of the river into the sea, or where the river ends. So, the beginning of the river is called the source of the river or sometimes, the head waters of the river. So, the head of the river is located at the top usually in the mountains.
We also speak of a head of a corporation. That is the place where when you go up the chain of authority, you stop at the head of the company or the CEO. You can appeal all the way up to there and then the buck stops there. In courts, it works the same way, so in a sense, the Supreme Court of the US could be considered as the Head court. You can't go up the ladder any farther than that.
So, Christ is the Head of the church. He is also the head of the man. And, man is the head of the woman. So, why is this important? Well, this means for example that Christ is not the head of the woman, because the man is her head. Now, stop and let that sink in. The Bible says that Christ is the head of the man, and man is the head of the woman. So, that means Christ is not the head of the woman. Why? Because the man is the head of the woman concerning authority.
For example, if she feels that she can appeal to a higher source than her husband, go directly to Christ, then she doesn't understand headship. Otherwise, the wife can tell her husband that she disagrees with him and that she is going to the Bible to seek what Christ wants her to do. This is dangerous. She is usurping her husband's God given headship. She bypasses the man to go to Christ. She will then feel comfortable going anytime she wants to the Scriptures to get Christ's leadership in her life without submitting to her husband. And, it is so sad, that many, many wives that claim to be Christians do this very thing. When this is the case, the marriage will suffer. The children will suffer. The home is out of order.
Christ is not the head of the woman nor is He the head of the wife. He has placed the man in that position and the man will answer to Him. He does not want the woman bypassing her head, the man, and going directly to Christ. She is to obey her head, the man, and man is to obey his head, Christ. He will hold both of them responsible to submit to their head.
Now, don't misunderstand me. I am just speaking about authority here. I am not talking about the woman's individual relationship with the Lord, her worshiping Christ, her prayer life, reading the Word, etc. I am just referring to the matters of decision making and authority in each order that man has over the woman.
Furthermore, as I see it, it is okay to repeal and go up the chain of authority, but when it reaches the head, it should stop there. Now, some chains are fairly short such as in home order, the husband, the wife, the children. The children can bypass the mother and go directly to the head, the father, but it must stop there. The wife nor the children should say, "well, I will study the Bible myself, and pray and make up my own mind what I should do." So dangerous. The father is the head of the family, or as least, he should be. As long as those children are under that roof, that man, the head of the house has full authority in that home and the wife and children are not to bypass him. Now, you can disagree with that if you want to, but this is what God has ordained.
Authority works the same way in the church. Christ is the head of the church. Next in line are the elders, then the men, then the women, then the children. This authority has limits to the church. Elders can preach, teach, and give their opinions for the home, but the head of the home are the husbands of each home. Elders that want to dictate and enforce how homes should be are stretching their authority too far. That can become cultish with church order consuming home order. It never should be mixed. Can't do it. That should not be.
It would also be wrong if a few of the men in the church get together and decide they want to bypass the elders and study and pray and make up some policy for the church. That is usurping authority over the elders and that would be very wrong. It's okay to give suggestions to the elders, but they are the ones that will give an account to Christ, the Head of the church, one day for that local church, so they need to be given freedom to search the Scriptures, pray, and make the decisions for that local church.
Works the same way in world order. You can go all the way up the chain of authority whether in business or in government and you come the the CEO, or the President of the company or the governor of the state or the heads of the executive, legislative, or judicial branches of government. Some pretty long chains of authority in each of these, and that's fine. Headship is clearly defined in the home and in the church, but all I can see as far as headship in world order is "man the head of the woman." Again, this is from 1Corinthians 11, but I really believe that even though it was written to a local church, the context of this command seems to be a general statement, "man is the head of the woman." Of course, the world rejects that.
So, what about women serving in these positions of authority in businesses and government? Well, I don't see anything in Scripture where it condones women being over men. I just don't see it from any order. The Bible may state that a woman was in power such as Esther, but even as Queen, she was under the authority of the King. She was his wife.
But, Deborah was one of the judges. What about her? Well, do we let this one situation undo all the Scripture that teaches the the man is head of the woman, and that the husband is the head of the wife? Well, here is my thought on this unique situation. To me this is no different than a woman who has to be the head of the home when there is no husband there. He has either died, divorced her, or maybe just left. Or, maybe he just won't take leadership in the home at all, you know, he just doesn't care. He's selfish. So, she has to arise to the occasion and take charge to fill the void. This was the case with Nabal in 1 Samuel 25 who was of rotten character, but his wife Abagail was not only beautiful but of the highest character. It got so bad that David was about to kill this drunken man, Nabal, and his male servants, but Abagail went bringing gifts to David and interceded for them. She was protecting her family and servants. If she hadn't stepped up, her husband and all the men folk of their household would have died. She did not usurp authority over her husband, but she was just doing her part in trying to do her best to protect them.
Many women that want to be pastors and teachers today use Deborah as an example to justify their desire to lead in the church, even over men. They ignore the verses in 1Timothy 2:11, "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."
But, with the case of Deborah, I believe that Israel had gotten so rotten that there were no men that were qualified to be a judge in Israel, so God shames them by using a woman (Judges 5:7). Debora was a godly spirit filled woman and no doubt did a good job acting as a judge when they came to her for advice. But, it was temporary and not something that God did but this one time. She was also married, and her general, Barak, worked with her, defeated the enemy, and it is Barak and his faith that is listed in Hebrews 11:32 rather than Deborah. In her song that she sang, she referred to herself as the "mother of Israel."
It's also interesting that God was also making a statement against this particular enemy the Canaanites and their powerful general Sisera. That God defeated them by two women, Deborah, the judge, and a woman named Jael who drove a tent spike through the head of the proud and powerful Sisera. How shameful a defeat and death. Beaten by two women. So, it was shameful that Israel couldn't muster up some strong men at this time who would follow God, so He used a couple of women, both of them wives at that. And, it was such a shame for the Canaanites to go into defeat this way. What a legacy was that? Done in by two women. So, I see that God had two motives here, one dealing with the carnality of Israel and the other with the pride of Canaan. Well, whatever the reason, it would be a very weak foundation to build a doctrine in order to justify women taking leadership roles in the church or in the home for that matter. As I have said, some women do have to lead in the home because there is no man there. It may be her fault and it may not be, but it is not God's plan.
For that matter, it was not God's plan for the nation of Israel to have a king, but they insisted upon it, and He allowed them to have a king. He told them that they would regret it, that it was not the best thing for them, but they still insisted. They wanted to be like all the other nations and have a king. And, guess what? God was right. Of, course. He is always right. He knows what is best for us. God allowed them to have their kings. He even picked out who their kings would be. But, it was not His original purpose, but He allowed it. So, same with all these homes having mothers leading the home because the man is not there. God allows it and blesses it to a degree as she follows Him, but it is not His original purpose.
CHILDREN
There are many commands in the New Testament for Christians, men, women, husbands, wives, fathers, and so on, but as far as I know, God only has one command for Children. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth" (Eph 6:1). The command is also repeated in Colossians 3:20.
So, it's only one command, and it's "Children, obey your parents." He doesn't command them to believe in Him, to get saved, or to serve Him. He says "Children, obey your parents." That is their only responsibility that God gives to them. "Obey your parents."
As I have said, the chain of authority in the home is from the child's view, father, mother. They also need to realize that their father is the "head" of the home, that he is the final authority, not the mother. Again, he may delegate authority to her because he may be away from home working, but he is their final authority. The children need to learn that.
Right after this command to the children, God then speaks to the father, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph 6:4). Again, notice that God is speaking to the "fathers." Not, mothers, not parents, but to the fathers. He says, "Children obey your parents (both parents), but the "fathers" are responsible, not the mothers.
Then, it says that fathers are not to provoke them to anger. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That is your duty to your children. Of course the wife is to help him in this, but he is going to be responsible to God for the kids, not her. Well, she is responsible to her husband, and God will hold her responsible for obeying her husband. So, if she is out of line with the kids, then it is his duty to get her in line, because he is responsible. I can't emphasize this enough. It is not a 50-50 marriage thing. The father/husband is 100% responsible to God for his wife and for his kids. Period.
How the wife turns out and how the children turn out is the responsibility of the husband/father of that home. Now, I believe that if the wife turns out bad, then the husband needs to take a good look at how he led her, and what was their relationship like. If the children turn out bad, then dad, what happened? Now, you can blame either the wife or the children on externals such as the neighbors, the schools, the job or whatever, but what happened in the home? You are responsible. You will give an answer. God says, "fathers bring them up.....". You are accountable to bring them up the right way that your Head, Christ, says in His Word.
God says that the father should nurture and admonish his children in the Lord. Well, what does "nurture" mean? It means to care for and encourage the growth or development of. What does admonish mean? It means to reprimand, reprove, correct, to instruct.
But, the verse says "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." It doesn't say to nurture and admonish for the father's benefit. It says to do it "of the Lord." It's the nurturing and admonishing of the Lord. It's how He would do it if He were here. Now, how would the Lord Jesus do it, if He were here with a little child? I believe He would nurture and admonish the child in a gentle way, encouraging them, doing it for their benefit, and doing it out of love for the child. So, how does the father know how to do it? Read the Bible concerning child training. Pray and speak to experience godly Christian fathers.
One of the most important qualifications for an elder is that he is to have his children under control in a godly way, his home in order, so that he can be an example to other families. These godly leaders in the church are hard to find now days, but it was what God intended with the local church.
Even the older sisters are to be examples to the young wives and mothers: "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" (Titus 2:3-5). Now, how do these older sisters do this? Well, the most important way is by example of being a good mother and wife for the younger sisters to follow. If you can't find good Biblical examples to get help from, then maybe you can find some good Christian books on the subject. It's a shame, because it should be the one of the church's responsibilities to set these examples for young families, but today's churches have become very worldly in their thinking and practice.
Regardless, it's the father's responsibility in how the children turn out. God expect us to make sure they turn out right according to His Word. Well, but we don't think of it that way. We can do our part, but they may still turn out wrong. No, I never believed that. I always looked at it that if my children turned out bad, then I did something wrong. I missed in following the Scripture somehow, or I didn't pray for them like I should have, or maybe I was being a hypocrite in someway. Why do I believe this way?
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Prov 22:6).
So, we don't train them in the way they want to go, or the way the wife wants them to go, or even in the way we fathers want them to go, but it says we are to train them in the way that they "should go." How should they go? The Lord's way. "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition OF THE LORD" (Eph 6:4). The way of the Lord is the way they should go, so we must do our best to train them that way. But, first, there must be God's Scriptural order in the home as a foundation for everything else to work. The training, the nurturing and the admonition will not work properly if the home is out of order with the authority being wrong.
I look back and in spite of all my shortcomings as a husband and a father of three children, God blessed our home because we tried to follow His Word the best we could in having a right kind of home. Again, in spite of my weaknesses, He blessed my marriage with a faithful wife, and blessed our three children who are now in their 40's, each one saved and following Christ. Yes, if we try our best in following God's pattern in His Word, no matter how feeble we are as Christians, the Lord will see to it that the home will turn out just fine. But, we must do it His way, and the first step is to get the structure of authority in the home right, which is: Christ, the Husband, the Wife, the Children.
IN CLOSING
So, there we have it, world order, church order, and home order. Everyone is to find their link in the chain of authority and do their part submitting to authority that is over them, and leading those in authority under them. Again, God's emphasis in the chain is not to the leader, but to the follower first. He first commands the follower to submit to the authority above them, and then He gives direction to the one in authority to lead those under them in a right way. His way.
For the leaders in authority, God uses the words, love, nurture, admonish, forbear threatening, giving honor to those under their authority. Sounds like it is not be bossy, but to do it out of love. When a subordinate gets out of order, then be gentile and explain to them what they are doing wrong and if discipline is needed then do it out of love. As a father and a former school teacher I always tried to explain things in a calm manner, what they did wrong concerning the rules and/or the Scriptures, and even had prayer with them if I had to administer discipline.
God only has one way of doing things concerning this matter of authority, and it doesn't matter which order it is in, world, church, or home. Everyone is going to have to give an account in how they either submitted to authority or how they were in authority. Both are very important and God will judge us one day on the matter. Now, this goes for everyone whether lost or save. The saved will be judged by the Lord Jesus at the Judgement Seat of Christ. This judgement has nothing to do with whether we get into heaven or not, but only what rewards we are to receive (1Cor 3:13-15). The lost will be judged at the Great White Throne judgment. Their works will be evaluated by the Lord to determine the level of punishment they will receive (Rev 20:12-13; Luke 12:42-48; Mat 11:20-24; Heb 10:28-29).
Thus, all those that go to heaven will be because of the grace of God and our trust in the Lord Jesus Christ and His death for our sins. But, there will be different levels of rewards based upon our faithfulness to the Lord in following His Word here on earth.
Those that go to Hell will be there because they did not accept salvation refusing the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, thus dying in their sins. There will be different levels in Hell based upon their works on earth as we see from the above Scriptures for the lost.
"Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring JUDGMENT on themselves" (Rom 13:2)
So, this matter of submitting to authority or refusing to be in authority is a very serious thing. Do you know why King Saul lost his throne? It was because Saul did not obey Samuel when God commanded Saul to kill all of the Amalekites and the livestock. Yes, Saul was King, but he wasn't the ultimate authority. God was. God gave Saul a command and he rebelled, disobeying God by keeping the Amalekite king alive and the choicest of the livestock. When God questioned Saul about it, we find the reason was that Saul "feared the people, and obeyed their voice" (1Sam 15:24).
So, King Saul failed on both sides of the chain. He was not a good follower because he was not a good leader. If you can't follow right, you won't lead right. If you can't lead right, you won't follow right. It doesn't matter what order it's in, if one is wrong, the other will be wrong also. If a husband can't lead his home right, then you can count on it, he can't follow the Lord right either. I believe that to get right, he has to first go to his Head, Christ and get right there first in following Him, then the next part will fall into place. But, whenever the father gives in to those under him contrary to Scripture, then it will cause him to be not submitted to Christ. Then, the problems will come from both sides, from the Lord and from the family. First, get right with the Lord. Then, explain things to the family. If they are what they should be, then they will get back in order. God's order.
Yes, it is very serious, more serious than you think, this thing of authority. Saul mostly obeyed the command, but not completely. He killed all the Amalekites except for King Agag. He killed most of the animals, sparing only the choicest, saying he was doing it for a sacrifice for God. But, 90+% obedience is still disobedience because God said to destroy all, not sparing any.
So how serious was Saul's weak practice in his chain of authority? Samuel said to Saul, "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD" (1Sam 15:23). Now, that's pretty serious. When a little child screams and throws a tantrum and the mother thinks it's funny and laughs, that shows she is not seeing this as a serious matter. She might as well be teaching that child to practice witchcraft or to practice idolatry. You know, let's get out the Ouija Board, the crystal ball, and have a seance. Now, I don't like anything to do with the devil, satanic worship, demonic movies, or anything like that. I stay away from it as far as possible. But, if you are failing in your part on either side of your chain of authority, whether submitting to those above you, or leading those below you, then you might as well start practicing witchcraft, because God says they are similar. So destructive.
God is a God of order. There must be order, not chaos. Let everything be done according to it's order, whether world, church, or home. He has those three orders and He expects us to know what they are and get in line we He expects us to be and to do our part the best we can.
1Corinthians 14:40 Let all things be done decently and IN ORDER. (What order? According to God's order).
Colossians 2:5 For though I be absent in the flesh, yet am I with you in the spirit, joying and beholding YOUR ORDER, and the stedfastness of your faith in Christ.
Titus 1:5 ¶ For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set IN ORDER the things that are wanting..... " (Get things in order).
1Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. (Confusion is the opposite of order). He wants order, peace, stability.
I hope this has helped you see the importance of finding your place in God's chain of authority. May He richly bless you.
In Jesus Name,
James B. Sparks
jb5sparks@aol.com
Furthermore, in Titus 2:9, it says, "Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again; 10 Not purloining, but shewing all good fidelity; that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things." Now, when it says, "to please them in all things, again, I believe that means all things related to the employment. Then, it tells us "Not answering again" which means that when we don't like something they tell us to do, we are not to argue or talk back to them. Or, we are not to "sass" them as we country folk used to say. We can politely give a different option, or express our concern about the matter as long as we do it in a polite way. They are responsible for the work we do and their job is usually not an easy one dealing with workers that can be stubborn and lazy.
Speaking of lazy, the verse says that we are not to "purloin" which means to steal, which is exactly what we do when we are lazy on the job or by running our mouths when we should be working. We are stealing time. I have seen Christians give the gospel at work when they should be working, and I will tell them to give the gospel during their break, not during times they should be working. This is not "shewing all good fidelity," which means showing faithfulness and loyalty. To who? To the boss? Yes, but also to Christ. "obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, ...... as unto Christ." Work for your boss as if he were Christ. I know it is hard, but it can be done as you pray for strength and the Holy Spirit will help you.
So, are we to obey evil men, evil governments? Yes, in all things, unless it conflicts with God's commands in Scripture. It does not matter if they are good or bad, they are still "ministers" of God to us for good. God uses them to accomplish His purpose and His will for our lives. All their authority comes from God and they will one day be judged by God in how they used it. This goes for our bosses as well as our government leaders.
Pilate was the Roman governor of Judea. He was a pagan and a ruthless man. "Then saith Pilate unto him, Speakest thou not unto me? knowest thou not that I have power (authority) to crucify thee, and have power to release thee? 11 Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no power (authority) at all against me, except it were given thee from above" (John 19:10). It is clear here that Jesus knew that all authority that Pilate had was from God, but also knew that Pilate had no power to do unto Him than what God would allow. What faith! Paul told Timothy, "...... and before Christ Jesus, who before Pontius Pilate witnessed a good confession" (1Tim 6:13).
What a Savior! What an example for us. He who was equal with God became a servant and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. He put Himself under the Law and obeyed the Law completely, never breaking one of them. Furthermore, He obeyed all of men's laws and regulations that did not conflict with God's laws. He paid his taxes to Caesar (Mat. 22:21). But, when put to the test, no matter what the cost, He took His stand for God and suffered at the hands of evil men. But, His suffering was more than just standing for right, for it was much more, He was suffering for our sins, our disobedience, our rebellion against God that we might be washed and made clean. Jesus became sin, that we might become the righteousness of God. He took all our rebellion upon Himself and gave us all his righteousness. What a trade. We sure got the best out of that deal, and He got the worst...our worst.
The Lord Jesus was the best example of a man that was completely under the obedience of God. He who was equal with God became a servant and learned obedience. "Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;" (Heb 5:8). This means that obedience was something that He had never experienced before becoming man because He was always equal with God. It was a new experience for Him. But, "being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross" (Phil 2:8). Now, when we learn obedience and become obedient to God, it infers that we were disobedient prior to that. But, with the Lord Jesus, when He "became obedient," or "learned obedience," it was different, because He was never disobedient beforehand. But, on the other hand, though He had never been disobedient, He was never obedient beforehand either, because He had always been equal with God. They were always on the same page. So, there was no obedience nor disobedience prior to His coming to Earth. But, when the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us, He humbled Himself and became lower than the angels, (Heb 2:7) becoming not just a man, but a servant, and a servant of God. He "learned obedience." He "became obedient." He submitted Himself to God. And, you know, we can too. We can learn obedience, being first obedient to God and to His Word, then that will help us to learn to be obedient to those in authority over us. "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God" (Eph 5:21).
CHURCH ORDER
There is a second order of God's authority on earth and that is church order. Now, I realize that not everybody goes to church and that most that do may not even be saved. The view of most people today is that the church is not that important and it doesn't really matter how one meets as a church. But, this is not true, for there are many passages in the Scripture concerning how we meet as a local church.
So, who is in authority in the local church? Well, the simple answer is Christ. After all, it is His church. The Bible clearly teaches that the Lord Jesus is the Head of the church. Speaking of headship, we only see it mentioned in two orders, church order and home order. This idea of headship means that the authority stops at the point of the head, the one with final authority. We don't see this idea of headship in world order, for we all are to be under the chain of authority, link by link all the way up to God. But, in church order, the chain of authority stops at Christ, for He is Head of the Church. "And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church" (Eph 1:22). So, this is clear that God has but Christ into a position as being Head of the Church. Jesus has complete and final authority of the church.
We also see the idea of headship in the home where the husband/father has final authority or headship in the home. "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body" (Eph 5:23). I will have more to say about this when we get to Home Order. We just need to see here that there is a difference between being responsible for authority in the chain of authority or being in headship having final authority. And, I only see two headships concerning the three different orders of authority: In the home and in the church. I guess you could say that God has the headship in the world because all authority goes all the way up to Him. So, what does it mean that the Man is the head of the Wife in home order, and Christ the head of the Church? It means they have full authority.
How is Christ the Head of the church? How does He have authority over the church? Well, He does it through the church leaders in each local church. Now, there is a problem because there are different forms of church government. Today, we see some churches are run by a single pastor, some are run by a deacon board, some are run by the congregation, but in the Bible we see that the early churches were governed by older Christian men who were part of that congregation who were known as "elders."
Now, I don't want to get into everything concerning elders in the church other than to address the authority they have in the church. Christ is the Head of the church which includes local churches. He clearly has in His Word how local churches are to meet. The elders are to study and to relay to the others in the church what Christ, the Head wants. The people then should submit to the elders as they submit to Christ, the Head. The elders are not to be "bosses" but helpers and examples. "Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock" (1Pet 5:3). They are to study the Scriptures, and relay to the congregation the commands of Christ, that they might obey the Lord who is the Head. They do not in any means dictate their own personal preferences and desires to the people and expect them to obey them. So, elders do not have the authority like you see some pastors have in churches today who act more like business managers running a business.
When I look at the Bible, the only other men of authority I see in the church were the apostles, but when they died off, that only left elders to care, guide, and direct the believers as to what Christ wants in the church. When the apostles died off, the completed Scriptures then represented the interests of Christ. It is very simple. It's not hard stuff here, but churches today have complicated things by making up unscriptural positions and offices for pastors, priests, and so forth which have hindered the church in being what Christ wants it to be. They will all be judged by the Lord one day and will have to give an answer in how they led their people.
I won't spend anymore time on church leadership for I have many articles that go into detail concerning the local church and it's leadership. If you're interested, then I suggest my articles, "Old Testament Churches," "Why Modern Churches are Carnal," and "The Church Should Be Simple."
However, we are not finished with the chain of command in church order. It's not just Christ over the elders and the elders over the congregation. No, in the church, there is another link in the chain under the elders. The men are in authority over the women in the church. Thus, the chain of authority in the church is Christ, the elders, the men, the women.
Paul writing to the Corinthian church in 1Cor 11:3 says, "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." It is clear here that this authority does not apply to just the husband and wife in the church, because it says that man is the head of the woman. The words husbands and wives are not mentioned in the passage. Some women in the church may not have husbands, either they are unmarried, or their husbands don't attend the church. But, it just states that the men are to lead in the church, not the women.
So, why are the men to lead in the churches, but not the women? And, why are husbands to lead in the home rather than the wife? We will cover the husband/wife issue more in detail when we get to home order? But, both reasons have to do with the order of their creation. Man was to be the leader because he was first in God's creation.
"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve" (1Tim 2:11-13). So, God gives His reason for man being in rank over the woman. He was "first formed," or created, thus she is to be in "subjection" under him and not to usurp authority over him. Now, most people today would be repulsed by that, but it is what God has ordained in our creation.
We also see it in 1 Corinthians 11, were God has given man "headship" over the woman. "For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, for as much as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. 8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. 9 Neither was the man CREATED for the woman; but the woman for the man" (1Cor 11:7-9).
Now, I am not going to get into the topic of head covering here, because we are addressing authority and why God chooses the man to be in authority over the woman. The words "husband" and "wife" are not mentioned in 1Cor 11. It's always the words "man" and "woman" that is mentioned. This line of authority covers all three orders in my opinion, home, church, and world orders, because the basis for each is because of God's order of creation. The man was created first, and the purpose of his creation was different than that of the woman. It is clear that the purpose of her creation was to be a help meet for man (Gen 2:18). That in a sense, man was incomplete without the woman. She was created from man to be a compliment and a help for him.
Notice carefully, the verse says that man was created to be the "image and glory of God," but the woman is "the glory of the man." So, by this contrast, she is not the glory of God, but the glory of man. Notice the verse also leaves out "image" for the woman. Man is the image of God, but notice that the woman is not the image of man. It only says that she is the "glory" of the man. So, what does it mean that man is the "image" of God. It means that man is the representative of God. He is to represent God for sure in the home and in the church. The world does not follow this even though it applies to them as well, and the world has influenced the home and the church especially the past 100 years or so in this break down of authority of the man over the woman. All we have to do is look at the condition of the world today and we can see the damaging results of the world not following God's pattern of creation and the purpose of the man and the woman in God's plan. When men and women get away from God's purpose and pattern for them, then the family will break down which will in turn have an adverse affect upon the church and as time goes by, upon the world. Just look at the problems in the world today and you can see the problems brought about because of the absence of this distinction between women and men.
According to 1Cor 11, in the churches, it does not say that wives are to submit only to their husbands, but that the women are to submit to the men. That's what it says. This is why 1 Corinthians eleven uses the words women and men rather than husbands and wives. The men whether married or single are to lead in "prayer and prophesying" not the women. "Praying" is speaking to God representing the people. "Prophesying" is speaking to the people representing God. Again, the word "image" means to represent. The women are not to be a representative for God nor are they to represent the people to God. Only the man is the "image" or representative of God. The woman is neither the "image" of God, nor is she the "image" of man. She neither represents God nor represents man. This is why when you have a woman pastor, deacon, or teacher, the church is out of order. It is not God's order any longer, but man's order. 1Co 14:40 "Let all things be done decently and in order." In the church, God has an order, so we are to let all things be done according to His order. Otherwise, we are out of order. The judge says, "Order in the court!" That there is a set order in how we are to do things in court. "You sir are out of order" he might say. Well, God has his order in the church and if we do it differently, then we are out of order.
Now, it may appear that the passage in 1Cor 11 is saying that she can pray or prophesy in the church as long as she has a covering, but it does not imply that even though the women were doing so at Corinth. Paul is just saying that what they are doing is wrong, praying and prophesying and doing it uncovered. He is addressing two problems, not one, because he goes on to say in 1Co 14:34, "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. 35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."
Here in chapter 14, we see that if they have questions, then they are to ask their husbands, not in church order, but in home order. As soon as the church meeting is officially over, then the order changes from church order to home order with the husbands/fathers being responsible for their families. She then can ask her husband, what did the elder mean when he said......? Home order doesn't mean the family has to be in their house because the husband/father has that authority where ever the family is. But, during the time they are in church order, then it's Christ, the elders, the men, the women. Thus, the wife is under her husbands authority, but during the time he is in church order, he is under the elder's authority. But, as soon as they walk out those doors, he is no longer under their authority, because God's order changes from church to home.
What about funerals and weddings? Good question. What order is a funeral or a wedding? Well, my opinion is that it depends on who is responsible for what is going on. God wants to have someone responsible, if something goes wrong. So who is it going to be? The wedding or funeral can be held anywhere, at home, at the church building, or even outside, but who is in charge if something goes wrong? The father of the bride or the elders? In my opinion, it usually would be home order for I believe that a funeral and wedding are extensions of the home, not the church, since it has to do with the marriage of their son or daughter, but I would not argue with those who decide differently. If they delegate authority to the elders of the church to be in charge and to be responsible, then fine, I can live with that, but I just don't see Scripture for it. It seems the Bible supports a wedding such as in John 2 as being in a house, for there is a ruler of the feast and servants there. Of course, there were no churches then, but it wasn't being held in the Temple or at a synagogue either. We have just gotten used to weddings and funerals being a part of church functions with the pastor presiding over it, but that's tradition, not Scripture supported.
So, if you are trying to figure out whether if something is home order, church order, or world order, then ask yourself the question, "who is responsible if something goes wrong?" That will help you figure out what order it is and who God is going to hold accountable. Most weddings, the bride's parents are planning and paying for it, even if it's held in a church building, so I would say it is an extension of home order. I would see funerals similar since it has to do with the burial of their family member, so the head of the family should be in authority over the funeral, but they often delegate this to the church leaders.
So, as I see it from Scripture, the authority in the local church is Christ, the elders, the men, the women. That's it. What about the children? Well, as far as church order goes, they aren't mentioned, so I assume they are just to obey their parents (Eph 6:1).
HOME ORDER
Home order in my view is the most important of the three orders because the family was created by God making it His first institution. Government didn't come until after the great flood which began the third dispensation, and the church did not come until after the death and resurrection of Christ which began the sixth dispensation. But, the home was there from the very beginning.
Also, home order has great influence upon church and world order. Churches are made up of families, and the character of the families will determine the character and the practice of the churches. Home order also greatly influences world order. Kids that grow up in unruly homes will one day practice and promote their unruliness in the world. Just look around with what's going on in the world with young people. All the problems we see today is a direct result in the break down of the home and especially the authority in the home. So, what is practiced in the home will greatly influence the condition of churches and in the world such as in schools, the work place, and in society in general. I am not saying that churches and the world don't have influence upon the home. They most certainly do, but in my opinion, what goes on in the home has more effect upon the other two orders. If children are generally raised in the home to be rebellious, then that will have a huge effect upon the other two orders: at their church, at school, their job, in the world.
Remember, in world order, God holds government officials responsible for His authority in this world. In church order, Christ holds the elders accountable, and in home order, He holds the husband responsible for maintaining His authority in the family.
Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,....."
In the world today, there is a complete break down of authority especially in the home. Divorce is around 50% these days, and many more don't even get married. But even homes where the parents are married and stay together, there are still many problems because the authority in the home is not right. Either the wife leads the home or the children get their way or it's some kind of 50-50% split between husband and wife. Fathers are becoming more anemic and not being responsible in their role as leader in the home. By nature it is in the flesh of men to shirk their responsibility in the home. Much easier to just let the wife and children have their way as long as it doesn't interfere with his plans. But, also by nature, it is in the flesh for the wives and children to usurp and have their own way. So, in most homes at best, the husband and wife relationship is a "50-50" leadership in the home. At least, that is what most will admit that they are trying to do. Sounds reasonable and fair, but it is not from the Bible, and it will lead to severe problems in the home. God will never bless a marriage like that.
Now, maybe these 50-50 relationships in the home are set up because of a misunderstanding of Eph. 5:21, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. " You know, you submit to me and I submit to you. The wife submits to the husband and the husband submits to the wife. But, this idea is not here at all in the verse. This is an introductory statement that means generally, we are all to be under authority, finding our link in the chain. In fact, after this verse, God continues to say specifically who is under what authority: wives to husbands, children to parents, servants to masters. He absolutely does not say anywhere for the husband to also submit to the wife, parents to the children, or the boss to the employees. So, that is a wrong interpretation of "submitting yourselves one to another," because God goes ahead and specifically tells them who they are to submit to. It just means that everyone is to be under authority.
So, yes, the wife is to be under the husbands authority as Ephesians says, but that doesn't mean the husband as the head of the house is not under authority also. No, he is to be under the authority of his boss at work, government officials, and so on, but most importantly, he is to be under the authority of Christ. So, everyone is to be "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." Find out what authority the Bible says you are to submit to, then do it.
I won't spend much time here concerning the husband/wife relationship in the home concerning the husband loving his wife, the wife submitting and respecting her husband, and the children obeying their parents, for I am only addressing the line of authority in the home. If interested, you can find more information in my article "THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE: CHRIST AND THE CHURCH."
So, it's clear to me that God expects the husband to be 100% in authority in the home. No 50-50 stuff. Yes, it's serious here, because it is the husband and/or father that will one day give an answer to Christ for the home and family. The wife is not responsible for the home, nor will have to give an answer for the results there. She will only be judged in how she submitted to her husband. If the kids turn out bad, then he answers for that, not her.
Notice carefully what God says in Eph 6:4 "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Now let me ask you who will Christ hold responsible for the outcome of the children? He clearly uses the word "fathers," not parents, not mothers. God made it very clear who He is speaking to. "FATHERS.....bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Of course, the father needs his wife's help in doing this, but he is the one that is responsible and will give an account to Christ. He will, not the wife. She will give an account only in how she submitted and helped her husband. That's it. That's what the Bible says.
Yes, the wife has authority over the children also, but that authority is delegated to her by her husband. So, the Bibles says, "Children, obey your parents." So, the wife is to help bring up the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but again, that duty is delegated to her by her husband, who in turn is responsible to the Lord.
Now, I know this does not sit well with modern day homes, but that is why homes are in such a mess today. If they are doing better than what the Bible says, then why are their children turning out so bad? I believe all the problems in society today are a direct result of the lack of proper authority in the home. Anytime I see a Christian home where they are following God's plan, then there will be happiness, contentment, peace, and unity in the home. Do it any other way, and there will be discord, strife, and fighting.
Notice carefully, the Scripture does not just say the wife is to submit to her husband. It says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your OWN husbands, AS UNTO THE LORD." First, notice that she is to submit to her "own" husband, not someone else's husband. That would include the pastor, physician, or whoever. To the wife, God says obey your own husband. Secondly, it says she should submit to her own husband as unto the Lord." Submit to your husband as you would submit to Christ. That is the chain of authority in the home. Any wife that says she follows Christ, but she is not following her husband in the home, then she is lying. Furthermore, a wife that wants to lead the home and make important decisions for the family is not right with the Lord. She is stepping out of her place. She is usurping authority over her husband. It is perfectly fine for her to give her husband her advice, but she must allow him to make the decisions because, hey, he is the one that will one answer to Christ for it, not her. It is his decision, or should be. Now, I'm not talking about what restaurant they are going to eat at, or what color the curtains should be. Let her make those kind of decisions. I'm talking about important decisions that have an effect upon the family. She can give her advise, but he must make the final decision, for he will one day give an answer for it.
Now, I have heard many wives joke, "well he is the head, but I am the neck," (that turns the head), and laugh about it. She is only expressing the break down of authority in the home. Now, she won't have to give an answer to Christ for the decisions she talked her husband into, or the consequences that they had on the family, but she will give an answer for one thing, and one thing only. How did she submit to her husband.
True submission is not trying to persuade her husband to agree with her and pouting if she doesn't get her way. He finally gives in and does it her way. No, he can listen to her advise, but he should also get advise from others, but most importantly, pray to the Lord and search the Scriptures, then make his decision. Then, the wife, even though she disagrees, then she needs to willingly submit to her husband in the decision he made. After all, that is what submission really means. Submission is not going along with the husband when she agrees with him, but the proof of the pudding is if she will go along willingly with him when she disagrees. That is the test of true submission. The wife is not to be toward her husband like the woman in Luke 18 that kept hounding the judge in the Bible until he finally gave in to her requests.
Of course the wife and husband can work together to decide unimportant matters of the home. But, I am speaking of important decisions that need to be made that have serious consequences. Choosing where you are going to eat out doesn't really fit in here, but choosing what programs your children watch do. Other important decisions would be if the wife works at a certain job, or seeks a career, or where the family will attend church. The wife should be encouraged to give her opinion, but the husband must pray, search the Scripture, and get advice from older godly men.
So, the wife is to submit to her husband, but the husband's responsibility is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He should want what's best for his wife and children. Their loyalty and submission to him is part of what is best for them under his care. If they are at anytime not under that umbrellas of submission, then that is not good for them. It is only going to cause them harm. It opens up opportunities for Satan and his demons to have access to them. So, being under authority is paramount to being safe from Satanic influences. The Bible is full of examples beginning with the first family, Adam and Eve, when Eve took matters in her own hand and made the decision to eat the fruit, and then gave to Adam to eat of it also, and the consequences were catastrophic especially upon their children. So, the husband must be sure that his wife and children are under his authority, under his umbrella of protection for them.
So, God says for the wife to submit to her husband as unto Christ, and that the husband should love her as Christ loved the church. Of course, in the flesh, we cannot do that. This is the reason that just before God gives all these commands of submitting to authority, in the previous verse in Ephesians 5:18 that we are to "be filled with the Spirit." Our only hope in overcoming the weakness of the flesh is to be filled with the Spirit. We must admit to God that in ourselves we cannot do what He commands us to do, but we need His grace to be what He wants us to be. This is humility. And, God gives grace unto the humble. Being in leadership and having authority over others is never a situation that should make us feel superior over others. That's flesh. True leaders should always be humble in their grave duties of leadership. The consequences are so important. We should be humbled by it.
"Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble" (1Pet 5:5).
When the wife senses that her husband loves her and that he is humble, recognizing the seriousness of his decisions to please their Lord, then she will have no problem in submitting to him. It's a given, if she is truly a believer.
Furthermore, I believe the children will be the same way as they see their father making his decisions based upon his desire to please Christ. They will have great respect for him. Ephesians 6:4 says, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." When the father makes decisions that his children believe is selfish on his part, then that will provoked them to anger. It will not be in their best interest. But, when they see him make decisions that he can support from Scripture, then that will help nurture them. So, he will either be provoking or nurturing his children.
Regardless, the wife and children should obey whatever the husband/father says, even if it appears to be selfish on his part. That is the command from God. Obey in all things. Not just the things they like or is favorable to them. But, in all things. "So let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing" (Eph 5:24). And, Col 3:20 says, "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." So, the husband/father is taking a chance when he decides selfishly, for the wife and children are also of flesh. A continual practice of this can only damage the family. He must remember that he is not a lord, but a servant of Christ in leading this home by Scriptural authority. Non Biblical matters can be discussed and agreed upon by the family. God doesn't care what restaurant you eat at, so have some give and take, but when it comes to important matters he must decide, do it carefully, take time to do it, but then stand upon it, and ask them to follow whether they agree or not, because he will give an answer for the decision, not them.
What if she is more qualified to make the decisions?
This is not a question of who is more spiritual, more experienced, or more intelligent to make the decision, the man or the woman. There is no doubt that in many marriages that the woman is smarter and maybe more spiritual than the husband. However, God's chain of authority has to do with whether the person is a male or female. It has nothing to do with education, spirituality, maturity, intellect or experience. God chooses the man to be over the woman. That's it. That's God's order concerning authority in the home. That may not make much sense to us, especially in today's time, but that is God's plan. You tell this to people today and they would say that God is a sexist and a bigot. But, He has His reasons for doing so, most of which I don't understand, but we have to do things the way He says in His Word, especially if we want His blessing and for things to work out for our good. When we don't do it His way, then we suffer the consequences. We must follow His rule book. He designed the family, so let's do it His way. He knows best.
The same thing could have been said in church order. I am very sure that there are many women that could do a better job than their husbands could in church. They may be able to speak better than him or teach better, or lead in prayer better, because they may be closer to God, but that is not the point. It's who meets the qualifications by God? And, she doesn't. It has always been this way. How? It was a direct result of the creation and the consequences of the fall shortly thereafter.
First of all, it was because of the fall of mankind. God told Eve in Genesis 3:16 says, "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." God says the man shall rule over the woman. This rule of man over woman is a result of the consequences of the fall.
Secondly, man was to be head of the woman because of the order of creation. Before the Fall, when God gave the first command, He gave it to Adam, not Eve. Why? Because of the order of creation and the purpose He had for man. As I have already mentioned in church order, the man was to be the representative of God in all 3 orders, world order, church order, and home order. Why? Because of his place and his purpose in creation. Now, if you don't like that, and most people today don't, then take it up with God. He wrote it. But, most people today are offended by it and ignore it. However, I find that godly women, sisters in the Lord are not offended, but willingly practice what the Bible teaches. They are offended if someone tries to get them to speak up in a church meeting, share a testimony, or something like that. They are very uncomfortable doing that because they don't won't to offend Christ nor bring shame on their husbands. Wow! Thank God for godly women.
What if the wife is saved, but the husband isn't?
Again, it doesn't matter. We must do what the Bible says without exception. It just says, "wives obey your husbands." It didn't say obey your husbands if they are believers. No, because God's command is for all men and all women, because all will be judged one day. But, there is a passage that does speak on this issue. So, evidently, the sisters during that time had the same question for the apostles. What do we do if our husband isn't saved?
1Peter 3:1 says, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, (a non believer) they also may without the word be won by the conversation (behavior) of the wives; ...... 7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
So, God says that the believing wife is still to obey her husband even if he is not a believer. I know this is hard, but the Lord will help those sisters who try to follow Him in this. Trust God!
For example, this means that if a non believing husband tells his wife that he doesn't want her to go to church, then she needs to obey him. What? Wait, a minute, the wife is to obey Christ and she must continue to go to church even if the husband objects. No, the verse is clear. Obey the husband and by her "behavior" she might win her husband even without the Word. In other words, he may have passed on hearing the Gospel, but to him, actions speak louder than words. When he sees the obedience and faithfulness in his wife toward him, then that will be a great witness to him of the Christian life. He will see the results of the Gospel in her actions. Now, on the other hand, if he sees her rebelling against his authority, then he will have an excuse to reject the whole thing. In his eyes, his wife going to church may seem to him as competition or threat toward her relationship with him. But, when he sees that that is not the case, that it doesn't interfere with her relationship with him, but the church actually supports her relationship and obedience to him, then he will feel no threat or competition from the church. Not only will he be inclined to let her go since it's no threat to him, he may be inclined to go with her to find out more about the Bible and it's influence on his wife. Listen, he has to be impressed with this or he is a very evil man. Regardless, she needs to obey him and trust God that in time He will work out what's best for her. Now, I know this is true, because 1) the Bible says so, and 2) I have see this very example happen right before my own eyes. A sister that does this can get her husband to come to church being submitted to him, loving him, and honoring him. But, a sister that rebels against her husband and goes to church anyways, she will never see him darken the door of that church, and most likely will ever see him saved.
Also, notice that the verse says, and I believe here it's referring to a believing husband, that he is to "dwell with her according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife." Maybe here it's speaking of a believing husband and an unbelieving wife as before it was speaking of a believing wife and an unbelieving husband. Regardless, it says that they are to work together "that their prayers be not hindered." Regardless of which one is saved, the wife is to submit to her husband, and the husband is to honor her and dwell with her according to God's Word, or their prayers won't get any higher than the ceiling. Husbands and wives, even though they both claim to be Christian and serve in the church, if they fight all the time with the wife not being submissive and the husband not loving and cherishing his wife, then guess what? They might as well not pray at all, because the prayers won't amount to anything.
Because He's a Man and She's a Woman
Now, when it says the husband is to dwell with them according to knowledge, what does that mean? Notice right after that it says, "dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel,...". What does it mean that the man is to have knowledge that the wife is the weaker vessel? How is she weaker than he is? And, how does that knowledge make it easier for him to dwell with her?
Well, of course, generally speaking, the woman is weaker than the man physically. This knowledge might be of some use to him in dwelling with her, but I think it is more than just that, because I don't see that as being something that would help all that much in his thinking. And, it says that we are to "honor" her in this knowledge which would apply to more than just knowing that we are physically stronger. But, how are we stronger and she weaker in other ways?
I believe from what other Scripture teaches that the woman is weaker than the man in other areas, not just physically. Generally speaking, the woman is weaker in discernment. "But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ" (2Cor 11:3). Now, notice it was Eve, the woman that was deceived by Satan. The Devil did not go to Adam and try deceiving him, but he went unto the woman. Then, when Eve gave unto Adam to eat of the fruit, he ate of it knowingly. The verse does not say anything about Adam being deceived. When questioned by God, Adam's response was kind of like, "What else could I do, it was this woman that you gave me caused me to eat of it." So, he blamed it on her, and she blamed it on the Devil.
So, the first woman was tricked by the Devil by his lies of her being able to be like God knowing good from evil. I believe Adam, out of his love for Eve, determined that it was either, 1) God would have to destroy her and give him a new help mate, or 2) he would have to step into sin with her and take the consequences. I don't see any other options that he had, so I believe he willingly ate of the fruit.
Furthermore, Paul says that Adam was not tricked by Satan. "For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression" (1Tim 2:13-14). So, it clearly says that Adam was not deceived. That means he took it willingly. Why? Because Eve "being deceived was in the transgression." She had stepped into sin, and Adam willing followed her.
Adam knew what would happen when he ate of the fruit. Adam was very aware of the command that God had specifically given to him, even before Eve was created, and he knew the the consequences if did not obey: "for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die."
So, this tells me that women, generally speaking, can be manipulated by their emotions. I believe that God has made the man and the woman different emotionally. Generally, the man thinks more analytically using reason rather than emotion. Now, sometimes this can get us into trouble when we need to think more from the heart, especially dealing with our children. The woman, who God has made as a help mate for the man, generally, thinks more emotionally from her heart. This is greatly needed in the family or the father could be too harsh with the kinds. So, she completes the man and becomes a necessary asset for him in family matters. However, this asset that the woman brings to the table can, without the man, get her into trouble when she is not as capable to discern matters that require a clear head and putting emotion aside.
Adam told Eve what God had commanded, but when the Devil lied to her, she set aside God's command in order to make a decision based on emotion rather than the facts of God's Word. She was moved by her emotions. "And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat," (Gen 3:6). Now, I firmly believe that Satan did not go to Adam, because he knew that he would not be able to trick Adam, so felt his only hope of deception was to go to the weaker vessel, Eve, and that she in turn would be able to get Adam to eat the forbidden fruit.
We can see that throughout the history of the Bible, that a weak husband and a strong willed woman was a disaster waiting to happen. King Ahab was a sissy of a husband, a weak and denerate man. He was king of Israel, but had married a Zidonian woman, a follower of Baal. When Ahab desired the vineyard, but the owner Naboth would not sell it to him, Ahab stuck his thumb in his mouth and pouted. His wife Jezebel had Naboth killed and gave the vineyard to Ahab. She was also the spiritual leader having placed 500 prophets of Baal in Israel. She systematically replaced God with Baal in the nation of Israel. So, here we have a man acting like a woman, and a woman acting like a man. She was the head, and he was the follower and just a figure head as a king of Israel.
Jesus even used the name of Jezebel as an example in the church of Thyatira when referring to a woman in that church that was teaching, "Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols" (Rev 2:18). Now, I know what she was teaching was wrong, but it's more than just that or why would Jesus refer to this woman teacher as a Jezebel, if she were not also a strong willed woman that wanted the position of a spiritual leader in the church. Jezebel wanted to be a spiritual leader and have authority over men.
But the Scripture is clear that in the church, "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence" (1Tim 2:11,12).
The point is that men need to know that God says, "dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel,...". We need to understand what that means. This will help us to realize that men to "man up" and be the man that God has created him to be, and women need to allow that to happen.
Thus, we need to understand the difference between men and women, that it is more than just physical differences. I believe this is one reason our country is in such a mess. It's in the flesh of men to be lazy, slackers, and to shirk their God given responsibilities, and it's in the flesh of women to jump in and led in areas that belong to the men (Eve). Because of this, there are many women that desire these man made positions of authority and they seek those positions. They have to of course change their behavior and become more like a man to do this. Women acting like and looking like men. This is why I believe there is a break down in our society with the distinctions between men and women which results in homosexuality, transsexuals, and other abnormal behaviors that are becoming more accepted by our culture. But, God does not accept it and will bring judgment upon our nation for allowing it to happen.
Thus, I don't see that men "honor" women by allowing them to serve or fight in the military or to serve in positions of authority over men in the work place or in government. I believe that men dishonor women by allowing them to do such. When I see and hear a woman mayor or governor speak, I wonder what their husband is like? In my view, he dishonors her and she is shaming him.
Now, I am not against women working outside the home. Many need to in order to help support the husband. But, they must be careful. It's one thing to work for others as a subordinate than to be in a position of authority over others, especially over men. I believe a woman can work at a job and still maintain a spirit of being a subordinate, so I don't think it would effect the home no more than a woman that attends a church without her husband as long as she is not in position there as pastor, deacon, or teacher over men. I also believe that a woman's work should be more suitable for her as a woman such as a teacher of children, day care, a nurse, a receptionist, cook, maid, bank teller, and so on. This is far different than her getting a job as a mechanic, construction worker, driving a semi, being a soldier, or being in any kind of authority, especially over men. These are jobs that are usually designed for men. Can a woman do these? Probably yes, but then don't be surprised then when she starts acting like a man.
Now, when you think about it, this blurring and resolving of the roles between the sexes has appeared on the scene in the past 100 years. Before that time, men were men and women were women and it was expected of them to act as such concerning their roles. Down through history, it didn't matter whether Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, or even Atheist countries, they had very clear distinctive roles for men and women. But, not now. Not the past 100 years. During the Roman empire, the father had so much authority in the home that he could either have the wife and children sold or put to death. But, I don't condone that, just saying that at least he had the authority in the home and that extreme didn't happen that often because he did have that power. But, now days, it's just the opposite. It's a 360 degree opposite situation we live in. Men today have no respect and very little authority as a father in the home. One phone call and the kids can be taken away by social services. One signature and the wife can get a divorce and go marry someone else. At best, most homes today are a 50-50 agreement between husband and wife which assures strife in the home.
Marriage at best even when both are Christian and trying to follow Scripture can be a challenge because both are in sinful flesh. But, with "knowledge" of one another's roles and God's help through the Word and through prayer, there can be peace and joy in the home as we submit to our roles. It's not easy, but it can be done. Other ways will result in heartache and misery, and produce all the evils we see today.
By the way, the problems we see in our country I believe to be a result of this rejection of God's given roles for males and females. I have already mentioned homosexuality and other diversions of sexual sin, but I also believe it applies to the racism in our country. How? Because when you look at the black race, for example, you see that there has been a complete break down between the sexes in the home. Fathers are not there. Mothers take the place of the father in the home. Women taking on the role that belongs to a man. Women acting like men. Racism is being blamed as the cause of poverty and crime, but it's actually the result of the breakdown of the responsibilities in the home. When the home is out of order, then there will be poverty, crime, a complete disregard for authority, and rebellion. However, when it's done right, then I don't care what color the people are, as long as both parents are performing their roles, then you will find a home that is in order. This will produce submissive children and there will be peace and success as they become law abiding adults.
What if the husband asks the wife to do something that is wrong?
But, the Scriptures say that she is to obey him in all things, not just obeying in things she believes is right and not obeying in things she believes is wrong. The very idea of submission is obeying even when you don't want to obey. The Bible does not say for the wife to obey her husband in only the things she believes are right. It says for her to obey him in all things. Ephesians 5:24 says, "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands IN EVERY THING." Now, what does "everything" mean?
Furthermore, we can always try to stretch the Scripture and find something that may appear to be wrong with what he is asking her to do. But, what if it is clearly wrong? Say that the husband asks the wife to lie about something. We all know that lying is wrong. Well, Abraham did this twice with Sara asking her on two different occasions to lie to help him out of a jam.
Genesis 12:11 says, "And it came to pass, when he (Abraham) was come near to enter into Egypt, that he said unto Sarai his wife, Behold now, I know that thou art a fair woman to look upon: 12 Therefore it shall come to pass, when the Egyptians shall see thee, that they shall say, This is his wife: and they will kill me, but they will save thee alive. 13 Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister: that it may be well with me for thy sake; and my soul shall live because of thee."
Now, there is no doubt that Sara would not want to go along with such a plot, but she obeyed her husband Abraham. She only had 2 choices, obey him or rebel against him. Now, she could have appealed to him not to ask her to do that. That is fine to let authority know they don't agree, and maybe even offer other options, but we do know she willingly obeyed. It didn't say she disagreed or fought with him over the matter. Now, if she had said "no, I'm not doing that," then it is clear that she breaks the commandment of not obeying her husband's authority. So, not only is he wrong, but now she is wrong too, and two wrongs don't make a right. But, what Sarah is doing are two rights, not one. She is not only obeying her husband, but she is also obeying God. Thus, by faith she is putting herself in the hands of God to take care of her and she winds up as a future example of Godly, holy women.
1Peter 3:5 says, "For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord:" (here the word "lord" with a small "l" refers to one in authority).
Now, I believe that Peter is using Sara as an example of her faithfulness to her husband, and trusting God in doing so, even when asked to do such a questionable thing. Now, this happened twice to her and the foreseeable consequences that lay before her were not pretty. But, she trusted God and God took care of her in both cases speaking to Abimelech and to Pharaoh warning them not to touch her.
Now, as I see it, even if a woman does this, lying for her husband for an example, and God allows the deed to go through, then she is not responsible for the wrong. Her husband is. He is the one asking her to do it, so she won't give an account for it. He will. But, if she refuses her husband, then she immediately commits wrong and will have to give an account for that to God. However, I can't believe that God would allow a woman so deeply devoted to Him, trusting in Him, to not be protected by the Lord. Either the Lord will intervene on her behalf ,or the husband will change his mind and rescue her. In both of these cases, the Lord intervened and rescued Sara, which expressed that Abraham had some growing to do in his faith toward God, that he needed to trust God to protect him before these two kings. So, even though Sara was more faithful than Abraham during these two events, she still submitted to her husband.
Well, what if her husband asks her to do something really really bad, such as to deny Christ? Well, that is a little extreme, but telling her she can't go to church and telling her to deny Christ are two different things. As hard as it is, she can stay home and not go to church, but telling her to deny Christ is something that she probably just can't do. That it would be impossible for her to do it even if she tried. You see, her husband can ask her to jump 10 feet in the air and she can try to do that, but she will fail. But, for such an evil husband to ask his Christian wife to deny Christ, that is also something she probably could not do. She might force those words out of her mouth, but it's impossible for her to do it out of her heart. He is asking her to do something she just can't do. So, he says, flap your arms and fly. Well, she can't do that. Don't ask her to do something she can't do.
So, when wives are asked by husbands to do something they believe is wrong, then they should appeal to him in a Godly manner, and even, offer other options, but if he doesn't listen then they need to follow Sara's example and then trust God, the higher authority to change their husband's mind, or to deliver them from the wrong they are to do. This is Godly submission, and only a woman walking in the Spirit can do this. Women that aren't walking in the Spirit, are not living a life of faith, they cannot do this and they will rebel against their husbands and will excuse themselves in doing so, but God cannot and will not bless that.
Knowing how authority works in our lives is very much related to Faith. When Jesus was approached by the Centurion in Matthew 8:5, to heal His servant, Jesus said the he would go heal him. The Centurion responded that Jesus didn't have to take the time to go to him, but just speak the word and the servant would be healed. The Centurion said in verse 9, "For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me: and I say to this man, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it." Jesus responded that He had not seen such "great faith" in all Israel. So, Jesus made the important connection between understanding authority and having faith. It goes together. This Centurion understood the chain of authority. He knew how to submit to authority and he knew how have those under his authority submit to him.
Listen, you can count on it, that if a person in charge like a supervisor or a manager can't manage people under him very well, then that is a given that he will have problems submitting to those in authority over him. Anybody in the chain of authority that has problems with people under their authority, they will have problems with those who are over them. A man who is not assuming authority over his wife and children, you can count on it, he will not be following the Lord or the Scriptures. This is why that for the qualifications of an elder or deacon in the church that they must be in control of their families. If his wife and children are not submitted to him, then it's a given that he is not submitted to the Lord, so that is a sign that he is unfit and unqualified to be an elder or deacon in the church. In the past whenever I met a church leader, the first thing I did was to look to see how he led his family. If he is leading his family well, then it must be because he is following the Lord well.
The Husband's Responsibilities
Why did I address the wives submission to her husband first, before addressing the Husbands responsibility to his wife? It's interesting God speaks to those under authority first before addressing those in authority. For example, in the Scriptures, God speaks to the children to obey their parents before he speaks to the parents responsibility in how to raise them. He speaks first to the wife to submit to her husband, then tells the husband to love his wife. He first speaks to the employee's submission to his boss before he speaks to the bosses responsibility to treat his employees well. So, I don't think this is just a coincidence. There is a clear pattern here that God puts the emphasis upon those under authority to obey. Then, He tells those in authority how to treat those under their authority.
So, the command to the husbands is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself" (Eph 5:25).
This is a command of God that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church. But, of course this is impossible for a husband to do this unless he is walking in the Spirit, living a life of faith, and trusting the Lord to help him obey His head, Christ, and do what he is responsible to do as a husband and father. So, God gives grace to the humble to do the things they can't do in the flesh. It's the Holy Spirit that strengthens us to do what God has commanded us to do.
This loving our wives as Christ loved the church is of course a sacrificial love. A man should be willing to sacrifice himself for his wife and children, and when a wife senses this in her husband, she will have no problem submitting to him.
The man in the home needs to understand that he has a God given authority and a responsibility in the home for his wife and children. He will answer to God one day for these responsibilities in the home. I really feel sorry for all the homes in this country where there is no father or husband there. So many single parent mothers trying to raise their children. Children growing up without a father. Such a shame. So devastating. Who's to blame? The wife? The children? The government? No, when it all comes down to it, the husband/father will have to give an account for the home, for the wife, and for the children.
In this country, we are in a mess. Just look around and think about it. What in the world is going on with our country? Especially the young people. Well, it's falling apart because families are falling apart, and it's the men that are to blame. Yes! Don't blame it on the women. Don't blame it on the children. Don't blame it on the government or the churches. The men are to be blamed. They are responsible for the home. And it doesn't just end there. Men are also responsible for the sad condition in churches today. We have already seen that the men are to lead in the churches, not the women. And, lastly, it's the men that are responsible for the condition of the government today. Not the women. The men! The women only move in to lead in the home, the church, and in the government and work place only because the men are so weak today. Women can't be what they should be because the men are not being what God has told them to be. Shameful.
Men like to feel "manly" you know, macho, masculine. Lift weights, play sports, and strut around like a peacock. Nothing wrong with lifting weights or playing sports, but that has nothing to do with true manhood. To be manly, you need to be responsible and do your job. Lead the home. Lead the women in the church. Be a great worker at your job, and be a good citizen. But, above all, submit to your authority, Christ! You want your wife and kids to look up to you with great respect? Take a stand for Christ. Stand on His Word. Be strong for He that is over you, and make sure those under you are submitting to you.
Look what God said about Abraham. "For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him" (Gen 18:19).
Sounds pretty good doesn't it? God knew He could count on Abraham to trust and follow Him and submit to Him. Why? Because He knew he would lead those under his authority. God knew there was no 50-50 stuff with Abraham. He knew Abraham would be in charge and would man up.
Abraham submitted to God's authority, obeyed God. Abraham knew how to be a man under authority, but Abraham also knew how to be in authority. He made those under him obey him. God could count on Abraham to exercise authority over his family. Seems as this verse is saying that not only is Abraham trusting by faith in God's leading, but that God also has faith in Abraham. God says he knows that he can count on Abraham, knows that Abraham will exercise authority over his children and his household and they will in turn obey Abraham as he obeys God.
Now, I know that you are probably having a hard time with this. Most people do. But, it is clear that God holds all three orders, home, church, and world order for the men in each order to be responsible.
HEADSHIP
It seems that sometimes when the Bible speaks of authority, it speaks of Headship. Well, what is headship and how does it differ from normal authority up and down the chain?
1 Corinthians 11:3 says, "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."
Notice this chain of authority. It speaks of 3 heads. God is the head of Christ. Christ is the head of man. And, the man is the head of the woman. We see why in Ephesians 5:23, it says "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
We see in Ephesians that the husband is head of the wife. Why? Because general speaking, in 1 Corinthians 11, it says that the man is head of the woman. Previously we saw that men were the head of the women in the church, that there would be some men not married and some women not married, thus the usage of "men" and "women" rather than "husbands" and "wives." So, this so far takes care of 2 orders, home and church order. But, I believe the way Paul states in 1Corinthians 11:3, that he doesn't specifically say "in the church," or "in the home," but just makes a general statement, "the head of the woman is the man," then I believe it would also apply to world order. In other words, even though the world does not submit to God's Word or His authority in any way, shape, or form, that does not change the fact that God has put the man as head over the woman, and He intends for it to be in all three orders. Why? Again, it is because of God's order and purpose in Creation.
Let me say that headship and authority have to do with rank, not worth. Man is not better than a woman, but out ranks her. We see this all the time in other areas, such as the military. A captain is not worth more or a better person than a lieutenant. He just out ranks him. Matter of fact, the lieutenant may be a better person and can do the job better than the captain. No doubt there are some sorry unqualified captains in the military, but they all rank the same.
The centurion was a military man and so he understood rank. He realized the spiritual rank and authority that Jesus had, and all he had to do was give the order and it would be done. So, God has chosen men to out rank women in the chain of authority on the earth. Men are not better than women. They just out rank them.
But, then in Ephesians 5:23, it says that "even as Christ is the head of the church." So, in 1 Cor. 11:3, Jesus is the Head of the man, but He is also the Head of the church which includes men and women. Again, I have mentioned the chain of authority in the church in the order of Christ, the elders, the men, the women. But, Christ is the Head of the church. What does it mean when it says the Head of something? Christ the head of the men and head of the church? The man is the head of the woman? The husband the head of the wife? What is headship?
When we speak of headship it means that is the source of the chain where the authority begins and goes down the chain. Now, going up the chain we say the authority ends there, but it is actually the beginning point of the authority in that chain of authority. For example the source of the river is where the river begins and flows down to the mouth of the river into the sea, or where the river ends. So, the beginning of the river is called the source of the river or sometimes, the head waters of the river. So, the head of the river is located at the top usually in the mountains.
We also speak of a head of a corporation. That is the place where when you go up the chain of authority, you stop at the head of the company or the CEO. You can appeal all the way up to there and then the buck stops there. In courts, it works the same way, so in a sense, the Supreme Court of the US could be considered as the Head court. You can't go up the ladder any farther than that.
So, Christ is the Head of the church. He is also the head of the man. And, man is the head of the woman. So, why is this important? Well, this means for example that Christ is not the head of the woman, because the man is her head. Now, stop and let that sink in. The Bible says that Christ is the head of the man, and man is the head of the woman. So, that means Christ is not the head of the woman. Why? Because the man is the head of the woman concerning authority.
For example, if she feels that she can appeal to a higher source than her husband, go directly to Christ, then she doesn't understand headship. Otherwise, the wife can tell her husband that she disagrees with him and that she is going to the Bible to seek what Christ wants her to do. This is dangerous. She is usurping her husband's God given headship. She bypasses the man to go to Christ. She will then feel comfortable going anytime she wants to the Scriptures to get Christ's leadership in her life without submitting to her husband. And, it is so sad, that many, many wives that claim to be Christians do this very thing. When this is the case, the marriage will suffer. The children will suffer. The home is out of order.
Christ is not the head of the woman nor is He the head of the wife. He has placed the man in that position and the man will answer to Him. He does not want the woman bypassing her head, the man, and going directly to Christ. She is to obey her head, the man, and man is to obey his head, Christ. He will hold both of them responsible to submit to their head.
Now, don't misunderstand me. I am just speaking about authority here. I am not talking about the woman's individual relationship with the Lord, her worshiping Christ, her prayer life, reading the Word, etc. I am just referring to the matters of decision making and authority in each order that man has over the woman.
Furthermore, as I see it, it is okay to repeal and go up the chain of authority, but when it reaches the head, it should stop there. Now, some chains are fairly short such as in home order, the husband, the wife, the children. The children can bypass the mother and go directly to the head, the father, but it must stop there. The wife nor the children should say, "well, I will study the Bible myself, and pray and make up my own mind what I should do." So dangerous. The father is the head of the family, or as least, he should be. As long as those children are under that roof, that man, the head of the house has full authority in that home and the wife and children are not to bypass him. Now, you can disagree with that if you want to, but this is what God has ordained.
Authority works the same way in the church. Christ is the head of the church. Next in line are the elders, then the men, then the women, then the children. This authority has limits to the church. Elders can preach, teach, and give their opinions for the home, but the head of the home are the husbands of each home. Elders that want to dictate and enforce how homes should be are stretching their authority too far. That can become cultish with church order consuming home order. It never should be mixed. Can't do it. That should not be.
It would also be wrong if a few of the men in the church get together and decide they want to bypass the elders and study and pray and make up some policy for the church. That is usurping authority over the elders and that would be very wrong. It's okay to give suggestions to the elders, but they are the ones that will give an account to Christ, the Head of the church, one day for that local church, so they need to be given freedom to search the Scriptures, pray, and make the decisions for that local church.
Works the same way in world order. You can go all the way up the chain of authority whether in business or in government and you come the the CEO, or the President of the company or the governor of the state or the heads of the executive, legislative, or judicial branches of government. Some pretty long chains of authority in each of these, and that's fine. Headship is clearly defined in the home and in the church, but all I can see as far as headship in world order is "man the head of the woman." Again, this is from 1Corinthians 11, but I really believe that even though it was written to a local church, the context of this command seems to be a general statement, "man is the head of the woman." Of course, the world rejects that.
So, what about women serving in these positions of authority in businesses and government? Well, I don't see anything in Scripture where it condones women being over men. I just don't see it from any order. The Bible may state that a woman was in power such as Esther, but even as Queen, she was under the authority of the King. She was his wife.
But, Deborah was one of the judges. What about her? Well, do we let this one situation undo all the Scripture that teaches the the man is head of the woman, and that the husband is the head of the wife? Well, here is my thought on this unique situation. To me this is no different than a woman who has to be the head of the home when there is no husband there. He has either died, divorced her, or maybe just left. Or, maybe he just won't take leadership in the home at all, you know, he just doesn't care. He's selfish. So, she has to arise to the occasion and take charge to fill the void. This was the case with Nabal in 1 Samuel 25 who was of rotten character, but his wife Abagail was not only beautiful but of the highest character. It got so bad that David was about to kill this drunken man, Nabal, and his male servants, but Abagail went bringing gifts to David and interceded for them. She was protecting her family and servants. If she hadn't stepped up, her husband and all the men folk of their household would have died. She did not usurp authority over her husband, but she was just doing her part in trying to do her best to protect them.
Many women that want to be pastors and teachers today use Deborah as an example to justify their desire to lead in the church, even over men. They ignore the verses in 1Timothy 2:11, "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."
But, with the case of Deborah, I believe that Israel had gotten so rotten that there were no men that were qualified to be a judge in Israel, so God shames them by using a woman (Judges 5:7). Debora was a godly spirit filled woman and no doubt did a good job acting as a judge when they came to her for advice. But, it was temporary and not something that God did but this one time. She was also married, and her general, Barak, worked with her, defeated the enemy, and it is Barak and his faith that is listed in Hebrews 11:32 rather than Deborah. In her song that she sang, she referred to herself as the "mother of Israel."
It's also interesting that God was also making a statement against this particular enemy the Canaanites and their powerful general Sisera. That God defeated them by two women, Deborah, the judge, and a woman named Jael who drove a tent spike through the head of the proud and powerful Sisera. How shameful a defeat and death. Beaten by two women. So, it was shameful that Israel couldn't muster up some strong men at this time who would follow God, so He used a couple of women, both of them wives at that. And, it was such a shame for the Canaanites to go into defeat this way. What a legacy was that? Done in by two women. So, I see that God had two motives here, one dealing with the carnality of Israel and the other with the pride of Canaan. Well, whatever the reason, it would be a very weak foundation to build a doctrine in order to justify women taking leadership roles in the church or in the home for that matter. As I have said, some women do have to lead in the home because there is no man there. It may be her fault and it may not be, but it is not God's plan.
For that matter, it was not God's plan for the nation of Israel to have a king, but they insisted upon it, and He allowed them to have a king. He told them that they would regret it, that it was not the best thing for them, but they still insisted. They wanted to be like all the other nations and have a king. And, guess what? God was right. Of, course. He is always right. He knows what is best for us. God allowed them to have their kings. He even picked out who their kings would be. But, it was not His original purpose, but He allowed it. So, same with all these homes having mothers leading the home because the man is not there. God allows it and blesses it to a degree as she follows Him, but it is not His original purpose.
CHILDREN
There are many commands in the New Testament for Christians, men, women, husbands, wives, fathers, and so on, but as far as I know, God only has one command for Children. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth" (Eph 6:1). The command is also repeated in Colossians 3:20.
So, it's only one command, and it's "Children, obey your parents." He doesn't command them to believe in Him, to get saved, or to serve Him. He says "Children, obey your parents." That is their only responsibility that God gives to them. "Obey your parents."
As I have said, the chain of authority in the home is from the child's view, father, mother. They also need to realize that their father is the "head" of the home, that he is the final authority, not the mother. Again, he may delegate authority to her because he may be away from home working, but he is their final authority. The children need to learn that.
Right after this command to the children, God then speaks to the father, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph 6:4). Again, notice that God is speaking to the "fathers." Not, mothers, not parents, but to the fathers. He says, "Children obey your parents (both parents), but the "fathers" are responsible, not the mothers.
Then, it says that fathers are not to provoke them to anger. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That is your duty to your children. Of course the wife is to help him in this, but he is going to be responsible to God for the kids, not her. Well, she is responsible to her husband, and God will hold her responsible for obeying her husband. So, if she is out of line with the kids, then it is his duty to get her in line, because he is responsible. I can't emphasize this enough. It is not a 50-50 marriage thing. The father/husband is 100% responsible to God for his wife and for his kids. Period.
How the wife turns out and how the children turn out is the responsibility of the husband/father of that home. Now, I believe that if the wife turns out bad, then the husband needs to take a good look at how he led her, and what was their relationship like. If the children turn out bad, then dad, what happened? Now, you can blame either the wife or the children on externals such as the neighbors, the schools, the job or whatever, but what happened in the home? You are responsible. You will give an answer. God says, "fathers bring them up.....". You are accountable to bring them up the right way that your Head, Christ, says in His Word.
God says that the father should nurture and admonish his children in the Lord. Well, what does "nurture" mean? It means to care for and encourage the growth or development of. What does admonish mean? It means to reprimand, reprove, correct, to instruct.
But, the verse says "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." It doesn't say to nurture and admonish for the father's benefit. It says to do it "of the Lord." It's the nurturing and admonishing of the Lord. It's how He would do it if He were here. Now, how would the Lord Jesus do it, if He were here with a little child? I believe He would nurture and admonish the child in a gentle way, encouraging them, doing it for their benefit, and doing it out of love for the child. So, how does the father know how to do it? Read the Bible concerning child training. Pray and speak to experience godly Christian fathers.
One of the most important qualifications for an elder is that he is to have his children under control in a godly way, his home in order, so that he can be an example to other families. These godly leaders in the church are hard to find now days, but it was what God intended with the local church.
Even the older sisters are to be examples to the young wives and mothers: "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" (Titus 2:3-5). Now, how do these older sisters do this? Well, the most important way is by example of being a good mother and wife for the younger sisters to follow. If you can't find good Biblical examples to get help from, then maybe you can find some good Christian books on the subject. It's a shame, because it should be the one of the church's responsibilities to set these examples for young families, but today's churches have become very worldly in their thinking and practice.
Regardless, it's the father's responsibility in how the children turn out. God expect us to make sure they turn out right according to His Word. Well, but we don't think of it that way. We can do our part, but they may still turn out wrong. No, I never believed that. I always looked at it that if my children turned out bad, then I did something wrong. I missed in following the Scripture somehow, or I didn't pray for them like I should have, or maybe I was being a hypocrite in someway. Why do I believe this way?
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Prov 22:6).
So, we don't train them in the way they want to go, or the way the wife wants them to go, or even in the way we fathers want them to go, but it says we are to train them in the way that they "should go." How should they go? The Lord's way. "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition OF THE LORD" (Eph 6:4). The way of the Lord is the way they should go, so we must do our best to train them that way. But, first, there must be God's Scriptural order in the home as a foundation for everything else to work. The training, the nurturing and the admonition will not work properly if the home is out of order with the authority being wrong.
I look back and in spite of all my shortcomings as a husband and a father of three children, God blessed our home because we tried to follow His Word the best we could in having a right kind of home. Again, in spite of my weaknesses, He blessed my marriage with a faithful wife, and blessed our three children who are now in their 40's, each one saved and following Christ. Yes, if we try our best in following God's pattern in His Word, no matter how feeble we are as Christians, the Lord will see to it that the home will turn out just fine. But, we must do it His way, and the first step is to get the structure of authority in the home right, which is: Christ, the Husband, the Wife, the Children.
IN CLOSING
So, there we have it, world order, church order, and home order. Everyone is to find their link in the chain of authority and do their part submitting to authority that is over them, and leading those in authority under them. Again, God's emphasis in the chain is not to the leader, but to the follower first. He first commands the follower to submit to the authority above them, and then He gives direction to the one in authority to lead those under them in a right way. His way.
For the leaders in authority, God uses the words, love, nurture, admonish, forbear threatening, giving honor to those under their authority. Sounds like it is not be bossy, but to do it out of love. When a subordinate gets out of order, then be gentile and explain to them what they are doing wrong and if discipline is needed then do it out of love. As a father and a former school teacher I always tried to explain things in a calm manner, what they did wrong concerning the rules and/or the Scriptures, and even had prayer with them if I had to administer discipline.
God only has one way of doing things concerning this matter of authority, and it doesn't matter which order it is in, world, church, or home. Everyone is going to have to give an account in how they either submitted to authority or how they were in authority. Both are very important and God will judge us one day on the matter. Now, this goes for everyone whether lost or save. The saved will be judged by the Lord Jesus at the Judgement Seat of Christ. This judgement has nothing to do with whether we get into heaven or not, but only what rewards we are to receive (1Cor 3:13-15). The lost will be judged at the Great White Throne judgment. Their works will be evaluated by the Lord to determine the level of punishment they will receive (Rev 20:12-13; Luke 12:42-48; Mat 11:20-24; Heb 10:28-29).
Thus, all those that go to heaven will be because of the grace of God and our trust in the Lord Jesus Christ and His death for our sins. But, there will be different levels of rewards based upon our faithfulness to the Lord in following His Word here on earth.
Those that go to Hell will be there because they did not accept salvation refusing the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, thus dying in their sins. There will be different levels in Hell based upon their works on earth as we see from the above Scriptures for the lost.
"Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring JUDGMENT on themselves" (Rom 13:2)
So, this matter of submitting to authority or refusing to be in authority is a very serious thing. Do you know why King Saul lost his throne? It was because Saul did not obey Samuel when God commanded Saul to kill all of the Amalekites and the livestock. Yes, Saul was King, but he wasn't the ultimate authority. God was. God gave Saul a command and he rebelled, disobeying God by keeping the Amalekite king alive and the choicest of the livestock. When God questioned Saul about it, we find the reason was that Saul "feared the people, and obeyed their voice" (1Sam 15:24).
So, King Saul failed on both sides of the chain. He was not a good follower because he was not a good leader. If you can't follow right, you won't lead right. If you can't lead right, you won't follow right. It doesn't matter what order it's in, if one is wrong, the other will be wrong also. If a husband can't lead his home right, then you can count on it, he can't follow the Lord right either. I believe that to get right, he has to first go to his Head, Christ and get right there first in following Him, then the next part will fall into place. But, whenever the father gives in to those under him contrary to Scripture, then it will cause him to be not submitted to Christ. Then, the problems will come from both sides, from the Lord and from the family. First, get right with the Lord. Then, explain things to the family. If they are what they should be, then they will get back in order. God's order.
Yes, it is very serious, more serious than you think, this thing of authority. Saul mostly obeyed the command, but not completely. He killed all the Amalekites except for King Agag. He killed most of the animals, sparing only the choicest, saying he was doing it for a sacrifice for God. But, 90+% obedience is still disobedience because God said to destroy all, not sparing any.
So how serious was Saul's weak practice in his chain of authority? Samuel said to Saul, "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD" (1Sam 15:23). Now, that's pretty serious. When a little child screams and throws a tantrum and the mother thinks it's funny and laughs, that shows she is not seeing this as a serious matter. She might as well be teaching that child to practice witchcraft or to practice idolatry. You know, let's get out the Ouija Board, the crystal ball, and have a seance. Now, I don't like anything to do with the devil, satanic worship, demonic movies, or anything like that. I stay away from it as far as possible. But, if you are failing in your part on either side of your chain of authority, whether submitting to those above you, or leading those below you, then you might as well start practicing witchcraft, because God says they are similar. So destructive.
God is a God of order. There must be order, not chaos. Let everything be done according to it's order, whether world, church, or home. He has those three orders and He expects us to know what they are and get in line we He expects us to be and to do our part the best we can.
1Corinthians 14:40 Let all things be done decently and IN ORDER. (What order? According to God's order).
Colossians 2:5 For though I be absent in the flesh, yet am I with you in the spirit, joying and beholding YOUR ORDER, and the stedfastness of your faith in Christ.
Titus 1:5 ¶ For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set IN ORDER the things that are wanting..... " (Get things in order).
1Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. (Confusion is the opposite of order). He wants order, peace, stability.
I hope this has helped you see the importance of finding your place in God's chain of authority. May He richly bless you.
In Jesus Name,
James B. Sparks
jb5sparks@aol.com
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